American Idol Tonight

Ick..Jason Castro seriously has to go..Fly Jason and be free of your dreads!

Brooke wasn't fab at all either..What was up with Paula?!

I've been tagged by Dani!

I've been tagged by Dani!

Mention the rules on your blog

Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them

Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers blogs letting them know they have been tagged.

My Unspectacular Quirks

1) I have a horrible habit of leaving my shoes all over the house.

2) I am OBSESSED with chocolate chip cookies and could eat them all day. My metabolism is starting not to appreciate it.

3) I love sleeping and try to take naps as much as I can (about 2 times a week when Pip takes hers). This doesn't sound like a bad thing really but I don't get as much done on those days. I then start feeling guilty that I slept but still look forward to my next nap, yahoo!

4) I have the world's WORST short-term memory. My family can tell me something and by the time I'm in the next room I don't remember what they told me or even that we had the conversation. Plus, I'm starting to ask the same questions over and over again just like my mom (sorry mom but it's true!)

5) Courtesy of Paul: I am obsessed with any new hobby I pick up. Over the years: yoga certification, invitation making, scrapbooking, knitting, web site building, blogging, swing dancing, salsa making, eating cupcakes at Retro Bakery. I research it, I do it, I live it, I am it much to the annoyance of my family. I still do them all though :-)

6) I am a germ-o-phobe. Nuf said.

I tag: Andrea Jenny Kari Keith Sarah Kelsie

Day at the Park

We took the dogs to the dog park yesterday. It was hysterical watching them run around with a bunch of other dogs.

We walked down to the kid's park after that.

Walking back to the truck. Pip thought Daddy could walk better with a dog bowl on his face.

(and yes that is Napoleon Dynamite on Paul's shirt - we love Napoleon!)

Dogs, Closet Ball..My Closet is a Mess!

I finally got a picture of the dogs together and actually looking at me (or somewhat). Pip helped a lot.

We have a family game called Closet Ball that we like to play. Last night we played a few rounds but as usual it turned to Piper wanting to bury her daddy in dirty clothes.

Covering Paul in clothes

Hunter in the hamper. Ick.

Seriously, look at my closet. Guess who gets to clean the mess up after.

After, the kids bug Paul while he's in the bathroom.

This is what I looked like as the night wound down (product of a pillow fight)

No Carly..Don't go! What's up America?

Please tell me that America got it wrong. Why was Carly voted off American Idol last night? She has an amazing voice with a great range. I don't get it. I am a Brooke White fan but seriously shouldn't she have gone instead? Not a Syesha fan but the girl can belt it out. Neither her or Carly should either have been in the bottom 2. Either Brooke or Jason should have gone...and yes, call me a goob but I do text my votes in after the show so don't tell me 'if I would have voted maybe she would have stayed."

To be honest, I think Brooke got the LDS vote and Syesha got the black vote (and I don't mean that at all in a racist way people!) so that left Carly out in the cold maybe? Guess that's logical but I'm still not happy with her gone. At least she handled it well. I think she was ok with it because she's still in the top 10 so she'll be going on tour. I bet she's sure that a record contract is somewhere in the near future as well.

Oh well, my overall fave though is still a tie between the Davids..

Side note - I seriously need a Chocolate Fountain from Retro right now. Bedtime instead.

Why I Love My Husband

1. His teeth glow in the dark (seriously).

2. He can do the best 80's dance I've ever seen.

3. He recreated our first date the night he proposed to me.

4. I've never met anyone so incredibly patient (especially with me).

5. He puts up with my ever increasing amounts of neurosis.

6. We've been to darkest place two parents could be and continue to survive it together.

7. He is a great impersonator. Ask him to do his Louis Armstrong, Kermit the Frog or Sean Connery.

8. This man can dance.

9. He tells me he loves me every day.

10. He dresses to the 'nines' and can decorate (he is SO going to kill me for that one).

11. When we got engaged, he told me I could quit work and stay home to raise the boys (his step-sons). Been home ever since.

12. He loves his step-sons as much as if they were his own.

13. He is an amazing daddy to Piper.

2 Dogs, A Toddler and a Visit to the Vet

Time for Baxter and Daisy's first check up. Here's how it went.

Put the Pip in her car seat. Start movie.

Run in house, grab both leashes, clip on the dogs while they both jump around on me.

Take them out to the Green Monster and lift each dog into the back. Carefully shut the back.

Drive like the wind to the vet while Baxter is howling at the top of his lungs. Pip and I try and calm him down.

Arrive. Get Pip out and sternly warn her to stay right next to the truck so I can get the dogs out.

Open back. The dogs are still on their leashes which are now completely tangled up.

Check on Pip, begin untangling, Pip starts to move, Baxter jumps out. I say "Crap!"

Pip back in place, dogs untangled, both out, now we walk into the vet.

The receptionist actually asks me to fill out a clipboard of paperwork while holding two dogs, a toddler and my purse. I quickly think of a couple responses I won't write but say nothing and fill it out.

Weigh each dog - Baxter 35 lbs (4 lbs overweight) Daisy 30 lbs (1 lb overweight)

Go into exam room. I get to unleash them and plop down in a chair. Pip sits next to me a toy stethoscope and starts checking my heart.

Check out. Repeat the loading procedure in reverse and drive home. Everyone is quiet and relaxed including me surprisingly.

Synopsis of Vet:

Baxter has an ear infection in both ears. I was soo not expecting that. Daisy has a small cyst under her right eye that I thought was a tick. Baxter gets meds daily for the next 10 days, an old scab clipped out of his coat (gross), Daisy's teeth are very yucky, followed by Baxter so both of them now have a dental visit scheduled for next week. Daisy's cyst will be removed while they are anesthisized for their teeth cleaning.

Yes, we have had dogs before so I know the routine but with two at a time this is whole new ball of wax..which they pulled out of Baxter's ears.

Huddling in fear of Piper examining them.

Still trying to examine them in the exam room. Pip's lovin it.

Meeting their new vet.

Pre-school Rocks

A fun day at school yesterday. Some highlights:

Morning Bliss. Pip and her girls Caitlin and Brooke greet each other.

Her bean has sprouted and is coming out of the bottle. You can see here how proud she is. Her classroom was so festive I had to capture it.

Pip's friend Harrison. He was having a rough morning. Pip sensed it and wouldn't get in the picture with him no matter how much prodding I did. This boy is sooooo cute..

McDonalds is Dumb

Me: I'd like to order a kids meal with chicken nuggets and apple dippers.
Dumb Person: What would you like to drink?
Me: Can I just have a cup of water please? I understand if you have to charge me for the cup.
Dumb Person: We don't do that anymore.
Me: Excuse me?
DP: We only have bottled water now. That will be a $1.19 extra.
Me: What? Can't you charge me for the cup?
DP: No we don't do that anymore.
Me: Forget it then. I don't want the bottled water.
DP: Ok but we still have to charge you for the drink.
Me: Ok then. Just put water in it.
DP: We're not allowed to do that anymore..
Me: (seriously thinking this guy never graduated high school) Whatever, fine. Don't give me a drink.
DP: That will be $2.26
Me: (driving up to the 2nd window - a different person leans out)
DP2: We're going to go ahead and just give you the cup of water.
Me: Thanks, I appreciate it.
DP2: That will be $3.18.
Me: I thought you said it would be $2.26?
DP2: We're charging you for the water..
Me: (Hunter and I look at each other and laugh at the girl leaning out the window - I now purposely take my time counting out the exact change while shaking my head and hand it to the dumb person #2)

Driving away, I give Hunter a lecture on how important it is to stay in school.

Words from Sheye

I have a blog friend (whom I would love to actually meet) in Australia. Her name is Sheye Rosemeyer and is truly truly truly my soul sister. We've both walked down the same devastating road together; I can completely relate to her. Everytime she writes about Ava, I feel like she is reading my mind and writing about my pain except much much more eloquently. People say everyone grieves differently but finally, I found someone who grieves like me. Here is an excerpt from her latest post about Ava.

...."What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." .....- The Velveteen Rabbit

I thought I'd start today with this gorgeous book excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit, sent to me by Jen.

It is the day after the night before, and the night before was hard. I glimpsed the wrong thing on television and it set the tone for the rest of the evening. It, grief, can take you unaware and with such severity it steals the breath out of you..Between the television and the kitchen, I paused to sob. It's not the first time I've felt I could fall through the floor with the weight of immeasurable missing but still..the intensity of it is so overwhelming in those moments. I do know though, the after holds a little more peace..as if the tears bring a calm with them and a little reprieve from such raw grief...if only for a while.

I will share something, a "quiet secret" as a friend calls them...I have found that it has become much harder to openly share my bleak moments, unless I happen to write on those really bad days. When we first lost Ava, there was no break from the bleak..it was constant and unrelenting so I never paused to consider just how intensely personal my writing was. Over a year later, it's become much more difficult to include the sorrow so openly - the shock has worn off and there are times I do wonder just how much is "appropriate" to share..

So, this is why I shared Jennifer's quote tonight..because ultimately, I am just trying to be honest and, well, real. I could leave out the hard days, skirt around the sorrow, imply that all is well and make my blog light reading but the honest truth, the bare facts, the real, is that some of the moments in my days are. just. awful. It is what it is.

I do sometimes fear sounding dramatic. But losing Ava is dramatic, isn't it? It would be so wrong to carry on with a facade that everything is okay..when it isn't..not now..not ever. Not the okay I used to know anyway...perhaps a new kind of okay, some of the time? I've said so often, the loss of a child is not just life changing, it is person changing. Losing Ava has made me who I am today. A completely different me to the one prior. In many good ways and some not so good. I cannot pretend otherwise and I promised way back when that I would continue to share the good, the bad, the indifferent - and I will - even when it gets hard. For Ava.

And for Ava, something else. As often as I can, in the footsteps of another grieving mother I know, I will share the Beauty Full bits in my day. I was told the first week after losing Ava that the biggest offset to paralyzing grief is appreciation - even just a little - for what remains. I do believe it to be true so, here are just a few of todays Little Bits of Beauty Full...

- Kate and I shopped the entire day away and indulged in the most luxe camera bags that look nothing like camera bags until you open them up.- I had a beautiful email from a wonderful photographer, Elle Moss, who's work Hush speaks directly to my soul. Thank you Elle and thank you again Jen for sending me little bits of comfort.

- Luca and I did a last minute dash to the shops, at his request, for new shoes and as we left he looked at me and said "Mum, you're the best. And I mean that." This is rare for my eldest and it made my heart sing, even if I did buy the display of affection.

- Finally, Sussanah's monthly dose of fine music landed in my postbox. Happy happy joy joy.

Jake and Ally's Text Convo

I found this on Jakey's MySpace page last night. It's a text conversation between him and a friend of his..It's SOO Jake. Hysterical!! I can't imagine where he gets his quirky sense of humor from. The rest below is all them.

this was when i was in school in vegas with my friend Ally!

Ally: Hi! I’m BORED=^..^=a cat for you
Jake: :)a face for you
Ally: }=(a demon for you[[compliments of Frank]]
Jake: ?I am Arthur, King of the Britains
Ally: I am Windextor, villian of windex
Jake: And the Crayola Wonder is your nemesis?
Ally: Absolutely!! And I am also Shin Kick Lass!! The Crayola Wonder’s sidekick!!
Jake: Shin Kick Lass? Who came up with that?
Ally: Brandon, of course.I am the Crayola Wonder’s nemesis and sidekick. Nice, huh?
Jake: So that means you and Julia beat yourselves?
Ally: Absoposilutely!!Picture that.freaking hilarious.hefer.
Jake: DAMN STRIAGHT
Ally: Fatty McFatFat
Jake: Mcow?
Ally: It’s what cats say!!Moo!?
Jake: Bang! Bang!
Ally: Did you just shoot my pig?All it did was moo and you shot it!
Jake: yep yep
Ally: Well bang! bang! to you too.now your dead!!
Jake: Starch Waffles
Ally: Horse Feathers
Jake: Lizard Wing!
Ally: Duck Soup!!
Jake: Spam Dong!
Ally: dorslefins and coocamunga!!
Jake: chinga la cabasa
Ally: farfenoogan soogan doogan!!
Jake: Spit hump.
Ally: Shnicklefritz!!
Jake: Panda Cake

(this was a conversation through notes that i had with Ally during reading.its much more hilarious in the moment!)

Peeing in Walmart

Pip had to go the bathroom in Walmart the other day. By the time she told me she could barely hold it.

Cut to running across the store with the cart, screeching to a halt in front of the bathrooms, grabbing her out of the cart and running in.

Think slow-mo now: I'm running with her to the stall and glance at a couple of urinals. I immediately think "How neat. Walmart put urinals in the womens' bathroom for the little boys that come in with their moms."

Cut now to halfway through Pip's business: All of a sudden I realize "Oh Sh** we're in the MENS' RESTROOM" I am now rushing her, yanking her pants up and running to the sinks to wash. Why didn't I just run out into the womens? Because I am such a germ-o-phobe I still had to get our hands washed despite risking being caught, arrested and eventually explaining my story on the Today Show to Matt and Meredith.

Piper having to pee in a store: Typical
Peeing in the mens' bathroom: Also Typical (you just have to know me)
Seeing the look on everyones' faces at the cashier lines when we ran out looking guilty: PRICELESS

Introducing Baxter and Daisy

We have two new additions to our household! We adopted Baxter and Daisy (they're between 5-6 years old) from a rescue shelter on Saturday. They're brother and sister & are just the cutest dogs ever. Their owners went through a divorce and for some reason couldn't keep them. When the kids and I saw them in their kennel they were cuddled together looking so sweet and sad. They just melted our hearts.

Paul stayed at home waiting for our friends to come in for the weekend. He had no idea we were going to come home with 2 dogs. Ok so he was pretty frustrated with me but as of today, his heart has started to melt (as I knew it would).


Since they're older, they are pretty mellow (which is great because our last dog was completely psycho -that's no lie!) and the best part is they are HOUSEBROKEN already! Wooooo Hoooo! Since I'm the one getting up with them at 5 AM (I have 2 doggie door consults this week already) to let them out at least I can praise the previous owners for dealing with the poopy/peepee indoor accidents rather than me!!



Daisy is a couch potato while Baxter is the adventurous one but they both love to go for walks (a million times a day - who says I need anymore Tae Bo - I have these dogs now). I was worried they would have problems acclimating at first but I was wrong. They came in and explored then jumped on the couch to settle down for a snooze (we're still working on the no couch/bed issue). They met the other dogs in the neighborhood - no problem there either which is great but our last dog (the psycho one) terrorized all the other dogs.


I'm sure I'll be writing a lot more about our new doggie duo..Stay tuned!

Crap, major camera malfunction - Can't post pics of the dogs yet..Workin on it..

Playing at the park this morning !

Weekend in Phoenix

Warning - long post! We went to Phoenix this weekend to celebrate our friend Chuck's 50 birthday but before I get to that, we did some other stuff before his surprise party.

Friday night we stayed with our friends Brian and Cynthia and their 2 kids Robert and Mia..Our other friend Brian (Turbo!) was there as well with his two boys, McCade and Cannen.


This happens every time I ask the guys to pose for the camera. Turbo always instigates something (hence the bottle - yes it IS a water bottle - in his pants). He's a riot.

That's a banana coming out of Brian's shorts..

On Saturday, Paul's mom wanted to keep Pip for the night so the hub and I went to a D-Back game which is always a blast..We won, woo hoo!!!





Saturday night was our friend Chuck's surprise party. He turned 50. About 70 people turned out, it was a blast.

Week in Review

This week has been so hectic, I haven't had much time to blog at all..Hunter is on a photo strike so no pics of him this week..

Here's the lesson plan this week for Pip's class

Getting ready to go to dance (my studio is sooo messy right now)

Pip's toes (poor girlie, she's got her daddy's Saskwatch feet)
Pip's seedman
Pip's latest artwork
Daddy and Pip eating fruit loops from a chopstick
My dance mom co-horts
My new TV armoire..Woo hoo!
Piper and her friend Caitlin

International Press

Yahoo! I have my first international comment! Kristen from Australia left a comment recently on our blog. That is way cool. Thank you my wonderful new Aussie friend for visiting our blog..Come back soon! Love your blog as well !!

Daddy and Bo-Bo are going to be jealous...

Piper had her friend Nicholas from pre-school over to play today. He is such a cutie pie. We tried to go outside but it was windy and cold so we stayed indoors. As you can see, we found plenty to do!

Be Happy Mommy

I learned something new today. One can learn to let go of one's overwhelming sorrow, without letting go of the one you've lost. This is much easier said than done but I get the concept.

A dear person told me today that I need to give myself permission to enjoy the moments we spent with Wrigley, surround myself in that joy and start allowing my sorrow to fade away. I carry so much grief about losing her that I lose sight of loving the brief time she was with us. It sounds overly simplistic but again, I got it.

I was taken through a visual exercise of talking to Wrigley's spirit and asking her which would she rather me do, hold on to my grief or to be happy. She immediately told me "Be Happy Mommy, don't be sad for me." With that, a lot of grief poured out of me that I hadn't been able to let go of. This will be a slow process but I'm going to try it. I have you tucked into my "Be Happy Mommy" place Wrigley where I can see you every day and re-discover the joy of having had you. As always, you'll always be in mommy's heart.

4 Ladies, Starbucks, and a Game

This is SO what I want to be doing at their age!!!

(we were at Barnes N Noble - these gals were playing some sort of game...maybe majong?)

My Hair is Officially Gray

Jakey called me yesterday to tell me he was in a car accident. My heart immediately jumped in my throat and I started sweating. Luckily, it was minor. Long story short, his best friend (of all people) t-boned him at a light. His friend's parents are going to repair his car but that didn't stop me from a lengthy lecture about safe driving. It was tough enough having him move out but it's even tougher long distance. Eee gads, it is so hard having a 18 year old boy. Didn't I just have him yesterday?

Week in Review

Hunter and I went to Blue Man Group last Saturday. What an awesome show.

Everyone in the audience had to wear toilet paper somehow. Here's Hunter. I tried to make a headband but just looked like I had a head injury instead.

Piper at a birthday party this Saturday. She scaled that wall in no time flat.

At the nursery buying some flowers

Piper hitting Hunter at the grocery store because he wouldn't let her grab the huge jug of o.j. behind him.

Documenting the huge zit on my forehead.

Messing around at dinner

Another Wrigley Moment

I can feel another crawl under the covers and never come out Wrigley moment coming on. It's been coming for awhile now but I think it's here. I was just reading my friend Sarah's blog (The Martin Family) and learned that a close friend of hers just lost her 2 1/2 month old to sids. Sarah is a photographer so the family asked her to take the baby's final pictures. They were absolutely beautiful. They reminded me so much of my angel. I am so glad we have so many pictures of Wrigley. One of the nurses took pictures of her from the moment she was born to the moment she slipped away from us in my arms. It took a long time for us to even look at her pictures. Now we treasure them.

I can think of so many things to write about Wrigley right now. The first thing I think of is of a moment recently in Mexico. Piper was running around with her friend Riley who is 4 on the beach. I instantly wondered what would it be like with Wrigley there too. She would be 5 now so I'm thinking she would be bossing the girls around..? or would she be mothering them..?

The other thing I think of constantly is just how wonderful my girlfriends were during this horrible time for us. Lots of love, support, strength and hugs. Next to Paul, I don't think I could have made it without them. Thank you Yvette, Irma, Teresa, Cindy, Dara, Beth, and Stacey..I love you guys..

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish I had you back Wrigley. Maybe if I squeeze my eyes really tight and pray for a long time I can wish you back. I cherish the time I was able to spend with you. Love you so much our beautiful curly haired angel...

Mommy

Feeling Fine, Thanks.

Feeling much better today. Thanks to the calls, emails, and comments regarding my rather dark mood a few days ago, it had been building for a few days. It felt good to get that 'rant' off my chest; It was much more therapeutic than I thought it would be. I was surprised at the feedback I've received from that particular post. Maybe I should show my dark side more often ;-) Probably not though, not good to put too much negativity out into the universe, there is so much out there as it is.

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

Divorce is ugly. No one wins. Not the spouse who gets the house, or the stuff in the house, or the spouse the judge rules for. 11 years later, I still get emotionally exhausted dealing with the aftermath of it. I see the pain in my boys' eyes when they ask me about it. I feel the anger and frustration when I have to defend their dad's actions when I know darn well he doesn't do the same for me. I feel guilt for being the one who wanted the divorce when I knew it would devastate the boys. I feel even more anger when I am taken back to court based on ridiculous rational and am required to fill out of worksheets, forms, get things notarized and copied, send certified, just to document 'my side', so to speak.

I can think of friends who have hurt me in one way or another, people who I have an extreme dislike for, rude people I experience throughout the day but would I wish them to go through something as ugly as this? Never. It breaks my heart when I hear of friends, acquaintances or even celebrities getting a divorce. It's a horrible thing for their children, their parents, their friends.

Going through that makes me even more committed to making my marriage to Paul healthy and happy. Not just for Piper's, Jake's or Hunter's sake but our own as well. Never wanting to go through this experience again is an understatement.

These dark feelings aren't something I enjoy experiencing and I am actually finding it rather difficult to write about them since I am normally pretty private about this stuff, however someone once told me that I am rather stoic about my emotions so in effort to try and put that aside (at least for this post) I'll go public about my current emotional state. Also, I don't believe in putting on a fake facade, pretending to be happy all of the time or that I lead a perfect life or have a perfect family. I know people who do that and I always wonder why they would think anyone would even believe them, but that is another blog all together.

I may be old and slow, but....

I played softball tonight. It was the first time in two years that I played, and I'm proud to say that I didn't break any bones, and I'm still walking reasonably well. I went 4 for 4 at the plate. Sure, it was coed softball, and sure two hits would have been outs if the outfielders had a clue, but it looks like 4 for 4 in the scorebook. Getting old sucks. Instead of going to the sports bar afterwards to celebrate like the old days I had two Michelob Ultras at home and watched American Idol with the wife.

Paul

PS - The hubby just told me he was the only one on the team who had the numbers on his jersey ironed on wrong - they weren't really ironed on 'wrong' - just not in the right spot on his sleeve..After an oops and a snicker, I said Sorry! The Wife

On The Mend

Pip is still feverish but getting a little better now that the antibiotics started to kick in. This mommy is exhausted. Taking care of the kids and getting scolded from her parents for not calling them before blogging about their sick grand-daughter just took too much out of her today.