Yeah Baby..I've been Tagged!

WooHoo! I love it when I get tagged. Its only happened once before on my blog but tons on my email (where they usually get buried before I can actually complete them). Thanks Swirl Girl for taggin me!

Eight things I am passionate about:

1. My children and my husband
2.Praying
3.Traveling
4.Wine, Wine, and more Wine..
5.My girlfriends. Can't live without 'em!
6.Dancing. I used to be a swing dancer and did a little ballroom as well back in the day. Now I just dance like Elaine from Seinfeld.
7. Sleeping. I love it.
8. Sex (Eek, did I just write that?! Sorry family!)

Eight things I'd like to do before I die:

1. Move to an island away from all of this commercialism and lead a slower and hopefully safer life with my family
2. See the pyramids of Egypt
3. Write a book
4. Record an album
5. Be at each of my children's weddings
6. Sit on a rocking chair on my porch with the hubby watching all of grandchildren run around in the yard
7.Get all made up and do a professional photo shoot
8.Star or at least have a good part in a movie

Eight things I say a lot:

1.Are you out of your mind?
2.Fudgebuckets
3.Shit
4.(Insert any of my children or dog's names here).. Stop it!
5.Babe (the hubby), Babe, Babe! Are you listening to me? Hello!
6.Whatever
7.I love you!
8.I forgot
9. Uhhhh, what waz I sayin? (Had to add a 9th!)

Eight Books I Read and Actually Remember:

1.Skinny Bitch - Just finished it..Highly recommend it if you're considering going vegetarian
2.1776 (David McCullaugh)
3.John Adams (David McCullaugh) - I met him and had him autograph it. David that is, not John...Oh yeah!
4.Abraham Lincoln
5. Walt Disney
6. Charles Lindberg
6.On the Couch (Lorraine Bracco)
7.Winnie Ruth Judd: The Trunk Murderess (Jana Boomersbach) Fascinating true story
8. A Million Little Pieces (James Frey) Excellent even if he is a big fat liar.
9. Tucker Max - I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (Pointless and HILARIOUS)

Eight Movies I've Seen Eight Times:

1.Superman (the Christopher Reeve version)
2.Somewhere in Time (more Chris Reeve)
3.Lethal Weapon Movies
4.Rush Hour Movies
5.Shawshank Redemption
6.The Green Mile
7.Any Disney Movie
8.Forrest Gump

Ok now, so I'm taggin my 8. Come and play if you feel like it!

The Old Ladies Pond
Scargosun
Petroville
Glossy Veneer
American in Norway
Give Me A Sec to Think About It
My Real World-Las Vegas
lisapetrarcablog

Not Sure How To Comment?

Ok certain family members who shall remain nameless but read my blog yet don't know how to leave comments. You have no excuse now that I found this post on a fellow blogger's blog.

Thanks Danielle at Captain Pork Chops for having the foresight to post this!


Select the Comment link under the post to which you would like to comment.
Enter your text in the "Leave Your Comment" Block. (If you can't think of anything to say, cut and paste this: I can't believe how smart and funny and pretty you are! Where do you shop?! You have such great taste in everything!)
Type the letters you see in the Word Verification block.
If you have a Blogger (or Wordpress, AOL, etc) account, you can log in. OR
If you don't have a Blogger (etc) account, but have a webpage or other URL you want to link to, type your name in the Nickname block, then type/paste your webpage or URL in the appropriate space. OR
If you don't have either of the above, select "Anonymous".

That's it! Voila! Get to commenting Mom and Dad, er I mean nameless family members!

The Parents Hit 44 Years

Saturday was my parents 44th wedding anniversary. I wish'd we could have been there to celebrate with them but they had to settle on a card and a gift certificate I'd given them to a yummy restaraunt they love. 44 years..Wow..My mom and dad have gone through a lot together but they always got through it. Total role models for my brother and me. My cousin told my mom "Wow Tia, you and Jack are a rare breed. You just don't see couples last as long as you guys do." I totally agree. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! Your (adopted) son and I love you!

Ok, I'll Give It Up Now

Time for the big reveal..First though, everyone's comments were hysterical! Very creative ;-) except for my brother's of course: I AM NOT ADOPTED, YOU ARE!

Gee, I think this may be a let down now that I've built it up so much:

I...was...born...not...being...able...to...smell...

Disadvantages: I don't know what ANYTHING smells like..cookies baking, bacon frying, my daughter's sweet smell (according to everyone who smells her). My taste is going. I only know when something stinks because all of a sudden I get violently sick to my stomach. It's my only cue.

Advantages: Don't notice when everyone farts around me other than hearing it, someone has serious body odor, or something just seriously stinks (unless I'm too close to it then I get nauseous). I can eat some SERIOUSLY spicy food, which ultimately leads to the firepot the next day but I can deal with that.

I remember in first grade some kid saying that a banana smelled good and I thought he was nuts. It was around then that I started noticing that kids, my family, and others talked about things that smelled. I really thought they were all retarded and didn't understand this at all..

Cut to years and years of therapy later. Just kidding, no therapy, just lots of specialists..Their diagnosis: I was either born without an o-factory gland or I have some sort of major blockage. Either way, I'd have to have exploratory surgery (break my nose and poke around up in there) to find out the issue but no matter what the problem, it can't be fixed. My answer: No flippin way for the following reasons:

*What's the point if they can't fix it?

*My nose is big enough as it is so why have it broken and totally messe it up even more? (The hub calls it the schnoz and told me early on when we were dating that I had a huge nose. He also makes fun of me because I can look down and see my own nose..How's that for love?)

To address the bullet points from my original post:

*My mother caused it - Theory #1: She worked in the chemical division of Motorola when she was pregnant with me. They allowed her to work until she was 6 months along then made her go on maternity leave because back then the last trimester was considered the most critical developmental stage. Chemicals+pregnant mom=baby with big nose who can't smell..

Theory #2: She had chronic bronchitis when she was pregnant with me. Her doctor prescribed her medicine which they would never give pregnant moms now.

A specialist once told me that it had to be one of these two theories. Something just got messed up in my development. He said I should be thankful that that was all it was. Hey dude, speak for yourself. I have much bigger issues than this..

*Certain stores I can't go in to: Bath and Body Works mainly, candle stores, perfume stores. Think of it as being blind. Why go shopping when you can't see shit? Same concept.

*Pummeled by questions: Can you taste? Can it be fixed? You can't smell anything? What about food cooking? Body Odor? Farts? Close your eyes and let me put something under your nose. Have you tried acupuncture? So you can't smell and your taste is going. How sad is it to be you? You can't smell out of THAT nose? Over and over and over again......

*The hub was obsessed by it. Picture all of the questions above asked repeatedly throughout the first year of dating plus him farting under the covers, in front of me, testing me continually..smell this..do you smell that?

Oh yeah, and I continue to lie about it all the time to unsuspecting souls. Like the time I was walking through the make-up/perfume section in Dillards and got accosted by those chicks who wear too much make-up.

"Excuse me ma'am, try our new perfume"

Me: Gee, that smells great..Like roses..

or when I'm around people who are exclaiming that something smells wonderful.

Me: Yes, that DOES smell great. Sniff, Sniff It smells like 'insert adjective here'.

Or when Pip says "Mommy Mommy smell that!" and sticks something under my nose. I've tried to explain it to her but she doesn't get it yet. She'll be as equally obsessed as her daddy was.

The worst thing is that my mom, dad and brother all forget about this continually. See my brother's (Weith Kick) comment in my original post. See what I mean? ALL THE TIME. Example:

Mom: Rob, smell this, does it smell ok?

Me: Dirty look I can't because you smelled chemicals and screwed up my nose.

Mom: Oh yeah I forgot.

or

Dad or Bro: Eww, what smells like big business? Rob, the baby just pooped in his/her diaper. Can't you smell that?

Me: NO I CAN'T SMELL IT DARN IT! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE REMEMBER THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Filed under: Now You Know My Jack'd Up Secret

I Have A Secret

Everyone has secrets..Hey, don't deny it. You do..They don't have to be bad secrets but they are secrets nonetheless. I have a DOOZY. I don't like telling people because it inevitably leads to TONS of questions that I get sooo tired of answering..Ok, so it's kind of an open secret but anyway..The hub knows it and so do my boys. Pip does not know it yet. My girlfriends tease me about it. My parents and brother totally forget about it when it comes up in conversation. This is so irritating to me because my mother caused it (sorry mom! haha!) so my family obviously knows all about it, yet they all STILL forget.

With people who don't know about it, I openly lie and am deceitful when they broach this subject (which makes everyone around me who knows about it snicker). I can't believe I'm even going to reveal this but in an effort to cleanse my muddled brain of pointless secrets that no longer need to be filed under dumb-secrets-never-to-be-revealed, I will put this one out there..but I must cause a little bit of anticipation and drama first (shocker I know). Some hints?:

• My mother caused it. (I am so going to be in trouble for writing that)
• There are certain stores I can't go into because of it.
• I am pummeled by questions from people who have just learned about it.
• The hub was OBSESSED about it when we first started dating.

Can you guess what it is? What secrets do you have?

Family/friends who know my secret - don't spoil the fun!

Robin vs. Baxter

BANG, THUD, SCRATCH, SCRATCH!!!

Robin: Baxter! No! Stop scratching on my door!

Silence...then BANG,BANG,BANG!!!

Robin: Opening the door Baxter, stop it! Shuts door.

Silence..then BANG BANG!!! SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH!!!!!!

Robin: Opening the door again Baxter! Stop! I've fed you, walked you, played with you..You know I don't want your dog hair in our room so you're not coming in! Slight thump on the nose and Slam!

Silence...then....HOWLLLLLLL, HOWLLLLLLLLLLL, AWWROOOOOO! BANG, BANG, BANG !!!!!

Robin: F*&k !!!! Baxter, Daddy is allergic to your stupid hair so stay out!

Baxter: I challenge you to a staring contest mom. Whoever blinks first wins. If I win, I'm in your room back behind my favorite chair, if you win, I'm out and won't get you up tonight at 3am to go pee.

The Stink Eyes begin....and go and go and go...Mom wins! SLAM!




Blissful silence for about 10 minutes then SNIFF, SNIFF, SNIFF...SCRATCH, SCRATCH!! LEMME IN NOW MOM OR I'M GOING TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH! I KNOW YOU WON'T LIKE THAT!

In a rare moment of weakness, Mom gives up. Baxter and Daisy (who is the good dog who never causes problems) are in the room. Mom goes back to her studio to blog about her dumb dog, goes to sit down, misses the chair, falls into some shelves and gets up pissed convinced that it's Baxter's fault.

RC CARS

Hey Brian!
RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS,RC CARS.

There. Now you have something to read about in my blog.

If Only...

Today started out like any other day. Pip and I ran errands then we decided to get our toes painted. I don't take her very often because we normally paint her nails at home but I like to take her occasionally because she just loves it.

I'm enjoying watching Pip chatter on with the nail gal when all of a sudden I think of Wrigley and my heart starts to hurt. I wished she was here getting her nails painted too. I wished I had to keep my eye on both my girls as they cavorted around the salon. Sometimes I don't want to think of her in moments like this because it sucks up the joy of that moment for Piper. But that's not Wrigley's fault so I continue to think of her, wish for her, ache for her and smile for Piper. Stay the course just stay the course, I think to myself.

This reminds of the other night when our family went to Pip's fave restaraunt after her recital. They give balloons to the kids so Pip always gets one for herself and one for her sister. "I'm sending it up to heaven Mom." We go outside and she lets it go. "Here you go Wrigley. Here's your balloon!" she says. This particular night was more emotional for me since the grandparents were with us. We all stood outside watching the balloon rise and rise and rise even further. I'm having trouble now, not being able to move or talk or participate in waving "bye-bye" to the balloon. I'm pissed at the stupid balloon. I don't want to watch it go to my daughter. I'd rather have her with me than watch that stupid balloon.

The saving grace was a teenage couple that came out of the restaraunt with a bunch of their own balloons. They saw the 7 of us looking up at the sky so the girl looks up, walks closer, looks up and walks closer, looks up again and pretty soon is standing shoulder to shoulder with my dad. My dad and her quietly watch the balloon for a few seconds. My dad quickly explains that we let a balloon go and that we're just watching it. "Oh!" she says "I was wondering what you all were doing!" and we all start laughing. I was grateful for that girl and her boyfriend. To cut through the emotional heaviness for me, to lighten my heart a little bit, for helping me realize at that moment that I was still there with my family instead of retreating into my own sorrow.

Piper's Dance Recital/Grandparent Visit

Piper had her dance recital this weekend. As you can imagine, it was very cute, all the girls looked adorable, and there were tons of great dances from girls ranging from about 3 to 18. Pip's class was no exception. The girls looked like little models. They danced to 'Rad Moves' from The Backyardigans. One of the funniest things was at the end of their dance. A little background first - Some of you may have read an older post of mine where I described one of our after dinner clean up activities: break-dancing. Check out the picture of the hub at the bottom where I caught him in a break dance pose smiling at the camera.

Anyway, at the end of the girls' dance they were supposed to sashe off the stage. Instead, my child decides to lay on the stage and pose just like her daddy's breakdancing move. This was SO not part of their routine but it was SO FUNNY because she struck the pose and KEPT IT until they finally got hustled off the stage. The audience (at least around us) was going nuts. The hub, me, my mom, dad, mother-in-law and Harvey where laughing hysterically. We weren't allowed to video or take pictures since it was professionally video'd (aka: yet-another-way-to-suck-money-out-of-the-parents-besides-making-us-pay-$60-for-the-costumes-without-getting-the-girls'-measurements-then-telling-us-we're-responsible-for-any-alterations...but that is another story), so I'll post the the video when I get it. Anyhoo, their routine was the cutest thing ever. We were so proud of Pip and celebrated at her fave restaraunt, Red Robin, afterwards.

After dinner, Pip was teaching her daddy some of the dance moves from her routine. I wish I had filmed more of it but we were laughing so hard I didn't even think to grab the camera until the last minute. Here's a bit of it:

Saturday was also my dad's 29th AA sobriety birthday. I can't believe it's been 29 years. I know it couldn't have been easy all of these years but he did it. Not only for himself but for our family. We went through a lot back then but it was worth it. We celebrated his success along with Pip this weekend as well. Happy 29th Dad! We are all very proud of you!

This morning both grandmas had some 'recital' gifts for Pip. Note to self: put some tap shoes on, pretend your in a recital so you'll get gifts too. From Grandma she got a cool fashion doll dress up magnet set. Remember our old paper dolls with the fold over tabs? This is SO much cooler. From her nana, she got a Fancy Nancy tutu, tiara, earring and shoe dress up kit. Put them all together and you have this:

Saying good bye to the grandparents today:

Pip, her Grandma & Harvey

Pip, her Nana, and Grandma

Pip with Grandpa

Pip, Nana and Grandpa

I wish her brothers could have been here but they're in Arizona with their dad at the moment. Don't worry guys, you'll see the video soon! Your sister misses you guys!

Hooked in SITS

Ok, getting hooked on this new blog I've found called The Secret is in the Sauce. The two hip chicks that run it are cool. They just announced that they'll be running some cool contests for the next 6 weeks. So I'm trying to win this bouncy for the kids (and me of course). The kids would so dig it.

Last Night I Had a Dream....

Do you ever have a bad dream about your spouse/significant other and you wake up in the morning totally mad at him/her? It's totally ridiculous and irrational but yes, I have done it. Last night I had a dream about the hubby but I didn't wake up mad; I woke up very upset.

In my dream, we had our friends over for dinner. During dinner, my hubby told me he was leaving me because he was seeing some other girl, who happened to be at our house at the same time..? (She was extremely ugly and unfriendly). I was furious at his friends, who knew about this, for not telling me about it. My hubby was totally nonchalant about telling me and wasn't concerned at all at how devastated I was. The more upset I got the more uncaring he was. (He is not at all like this in reality.)

Finally I confronted her. She was very immature and tried to start kicking me, which made me start laughing, which made her even more mad. I remember telling her off and telling her she was ugly which made the hubby start laughing. The rest is pretty foggy but I was just so upset throughout the dream that I woke up upset as well. The hubby was already out of the shower getting dressed when I woke up so I just came to him and gave him a long long hug. When I told him about the dream he had an amused look on his face and gave me one of those smiles that I love.

** I know why I had this stupid dream. Awhile back the hub told me a story about a psycho girl that he dated about 20 years ago. At the time, he had broken up with her and was out on a date a few days later with a new girl. The psycho ex-girlfriend saw them together and attacked the new girl. The hub said all he saw was a flash of legs, mini skirts and high heel shoes (it was the 80's folks) hit the floor. After the two girls were pried apart, the psycho ex-girlfriend was thrown out of the bar. She then went and got sugar and poured it into the hub's gas tank in the parking lot. His engine was totaled.

For some reason even though I've never seen that girl, I knew that the girl in my dream was the same one. Shows you how the mind works doesn't it? Or at least how mine does..

I'll have to start posting more of my crazy dreams. I remember all of them and have several re-occurring ones. Yes, I have issues, I know.

Phone Speak

Typical phone conversation with my friend 'D':

D: Dude, I totally want to go back to Firefly.
Me: Yeah, that food was awesome.
D: That place was hot.
Me: You just want to see that hot waiter again.
D: Yeah he was hot but he was a puppy. THEY'RE ALL PUPPIES!!! THEY'RE ALL EITHER MARRIED OR THEY'RE *&*#@ PUPPIES! (As you can tell, D is single).
Me: But you still want to see him again.

A few minutes later. I'm walking her through troubleshooting a printer install issue.

D: Dude, I'll call you back so you don't have to sit here while the PC restarts.
Me: Don't worry about it. I'm fine.
D: You could knit..HAHAHAH!
Me: Actually I was thinking of crocheting.
D: I know how to finger crochet.
Me: Yeah, I bet you do.
D: No really my grandmother taught me when I was a kid.
Me: Yeah, I bet she did.
D: You're sick.
Me: But you love me anyway.
D: No really. I hadn't done in it years and then last year when I went camping, blah blah blah..
Me: Yeah, they say once you finger 'crochet' you never forget.
D: You're sick.
Me: Call me back if you keep having problems.
D: I luv ya, thanks for the help... Click

Swimmin Foo's

We had a little swim get together today which was fun (I love my Pippy but momma needed some girlfriend time too. I think Pip felt the same way). I had my friends Kris and her kids Kathryn and Edward, and Lindsay and her son Hunter over. The pool felt sooo good. Thanks for taking these pictures Lindsay. Next time bring your suit !!!!!!!!

Week in Review

Blogger finally decided to stop having a brainfart so I can finally upload pictures again. Here are some over the last week:

Hanging out at Scott and Lindsay's house.

Pip with Abbi and Lucy at Retro.

Not happy in time out. Notice the boo-boo lip.

Breakfast at the golf club on Father's Day. Forgot I had these on my phone.

I love this picture of Dad and Pip.

I got Nuthin

Blogger won't let me add any pictures so I'm sitting here trying to think of something to write. I wish I could upload a picture of myself right now. Bed head, a little makeup around the eyes and I just realized I still have my nightguard in (I am a teeth grinder).

I'm thinking of a blog overhaul. I'm getting tired of basic black. There are some coool bloggers out there who design awesome blog templates. I'm thinking about this one. It's the Purple Diva from her 6/5 post. Or scroll down and look at Corkboard Notes. I'm a sucker for paisley. It made me laugh because the hub is always leaving me notes to get stuff done because he knows I'll totally forget if he just tells me. Hint: I like the Diva one better..My new blog title could be: Dawling, make your own *#& dinner.

I'll keep my blog URL but will probably change Party of Five to something else..Maybe something like, "Lord, I pray for my sanity to come back" or something like that. My blog will still be about our party of five as well as my other insane ramblings but just think it's time to change the name. Anyway, I'd appreciate any suggestions you have but you won't win anything, just some self satisfaction that you're helping me.

I'm adding my first link button today. It's for a blog called The Secret is in the Sauce. Awesome blog for us bloggers who want to increase their traffic.

Ok, first potty break of the day done (Mom and Dad aren't you glad you stopped by today?) and finally took my nightguard out. That dang thing makes me gag so much when I take it out. My hair up for Pip (she gets mad at me when I come in to get her in the morning and I don't have one in.."MOM, I TOLD YOU TO PUT A PIGTAIL IN!" I have no idea where she gets her control freakness from.

I have nothing to do today. I just realized it. This is SO RARE. The hub is out of town until this afternoon, Hunter is out of town with his dad so it's just Pip and me. I could do some laundry, or vacuum dog hair up I guess..I think not though. It'll be a Pip and Me day. Speaking of Pip, I hear her upstairs trying to sneak out of her room. Time to vamoose.

Father's Day

The hub had a great Father's Day. I let him sleep in while Pip and I played upstairs then when we couldn't wait any longer, we woke him up to give him his presents, then took him out for breakfast. One of the things he wanted to do was just relax and watch golf so that's what we did. We had a nice leisurely day.I ran a few quick errands hen came back and relaxed too. After the US open ended (my man Tiger came back to tie Rocco much to the hub's dismay..18 hole playoff today), we went next door to our friends Ray and Missy's. Lots of fun swimming, eating and laughing..

Since both of our dads are out of state, the hub and I made our calls to wish them happy dad's day. I wished we were there to be with them on their special day. My bro & sis-in-law and my son and his girlfriend were at my parents swimming while my mom made her usual delicious spread of yummy stuff. These are the times when it's hard to be away from family.

Of course did I take ONE picture of yesterday? No. That's really strange for me. Not sure why I didn't.

Hubby Speak

Hub: Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?
Me: Do you mean to we want to go out so you can actually eat some meat?
Hub: How do you always see through me.
Me: That's how I roll.

A few minutes later - The hub talking to the dogs.

Hub: Ok, which one of you puked by the back door, raise your paw.
Silence
Hub: I know you did it Baxter so just confess.
Silence
Hub: I pronounce you guilty Baxter.

A few seconds later

Me: So you saw puke by the back door and didn't clean it up.
Hub: I saw it.
Me: Nice.

Translation

Me: So you saw the puke by the back door and didn't clean it up.
Hub: You wanted these dogs so you have to pick up all of their puke.
Me: Nice.

Last Day of Pre-School

Today was Pip's last day of pre-school for the summer. I am so grateful that her first two teachers of her school experience were so positively wonderful. She had such a marvelous semester (she started in Feb) and has learned so much in her little 2 day a week class. Her teacher sent home a scrapbook for each child with pictures of them throughout the school year in class and on the playground, plus work that they had done. It is so precious. Both teachers cried when class ended they was so sad to see the kids go.

Excited to find candy in her cubby.

The walls look so barren now that their artwork has been taken down.

Blurry but funny. Notice the little guy in the bottom right hand corner being squished. You can just see his cheek.

We always have to stop in the hallway and measure her.

Cancun - Days 5 and 6

Our last two days we just relaxed by the pool and shopped a little bit. The Lakers/Celtic game was on one night so we went to the hotel sports bar to watch it. Funny thing that happened: The 'same kid' who told me the other night that I was too hot for the hub (rolling my eyes) was at the sports bar. As everyone was leaving, he caught Paul's eye and shot him a quick wave then looked at me, shot me the 2 thumbs up then gave me a big wink. It seemed to dawn on him immediately that it came across as strange because he said, "Oh sh*&, I can't believe I just winked at my boss's boss's boss's boss's wife."

On our last night, we had the closing dinner then Paul, myself and some friends went over to a fun restaurant/piano bar called Carlos N Charlies..

Stressed over a text I received from my son's girlfriend.

In the lobby bar after dinner. At Carlos N Charlies. We had glitter on us for days..

Trip over. Flying home was uneventful except that we almost got in an accident pulling out of the hotel parking lot on our way to the airport. Our driver just about t-boned a tiny car. We had about 50 people on this tour bus and Paul and I are in the front seat. I saw the car coming before the driver and as he pulled out in front of it, I yelled** (involuntarily), "HOLY SH*# !!" while the guy across the aisle from us yelled something very similiar. The entire bus got quiet wondering who was yelling up front, then the bus driver slammed on the brakes as everyone yelled and lurched forward.

Ok, Cancun updates are done. No one is more happy than I.

** Reading over these posts, it sounds like I have a potty mouth. Hmmm..Not much anymore, except apparently in Cancun.

Cancun - Day 4

Chichen Itza

We went to a Mayan ruin called Chichen Itza (rhymes with chicken pizza) about 2.5 hours south of Cancun. This place was full of history and was probably the highlight of our trip. Funny things that happened:

*I packed no real walking shoes so I tripped and stumbled most of the day while walking down the ancient paths
*A Mayan man kissed me after we bought a trinket from him. I spent the rest of the afternoon telling the hub, "I kissed a Mayan."

I am a huge history fan so this place was such a treat. I knew that'd we see a Mayan pyramid but had no idea that we'd tour a ball court, one of the Mayan sinkholes, an observatory, and meet a myriad of Mayan people selling their wares.

Ok Glossy, I totally get how you fainted. The heat was almost unbearable. In your honor, I picked a tree and stood under it imagining how it would feel to have gravel buried in my elbows.

At one point, we're listening to our guide then all of a sudden, BBRRIINGG!!!!!BBBBRRRRIIIINGGGGGGGG!!! BBRRIINGGG!!!! My cell phone is ringing. A couple of sh*#ts later I find it and run away from the group to answer thinking it was my mom who was at our house watching the kids. No. It is our friend and realtor from Tulsa, Debbie.

Me: Sh*# Sh*# Sh*#..Whispering Hello?
Debbie: Hey girl!!! How are ya! I have news! You're never going to believe this, I bought a hotel in Colorado and moving there soon! It's so cool, it's in blah blah blah blah blah blah..."
Me: Whispering...Uh Deb..
Debbie: I'm so excited! I can't wait to move there, blah blah blah blah. So what are you doing?
Me: Whispering...I'm standing in a Mayan jungle in Cancun.
Debbie: WHAT THE HELL!?!? OH CRAP, CALL ME LATER!!!
Me: Ok, congrats on the hotel.

I stand there, wipe sweat off my face and turn around to see the hubby glaring at me. It would have been funny normally but since there's about 20 people in our tour group, I just glare back and re-join the group. Note to self: Call Deb back. I am genuinely excited for her. If you ever move to Tulsa, she's your gal.

Anyway, after the tour, we're taken to lunch in the middle of this small Mayan village. Local dancers entertain us while we eat. We then travel to a Mayan sinkhole that they used to swim in. We kicked ourselves for not bringing our suits but here are some pics of people jumping in. It was too cool.

The entire day was a lot of fun. Would definitely recommend it.

EL PRESIDENTE

After we get back, we shower, eat then hangout in the lobby bar for a bit. This is where the night started. So you have to understand that the employees who won these trips are always very grateful that the company pays for everything. How they show it is by continually coming up to Paul throughout the trip and thanking him. Not a problem. The funny thing is when they start drinking. The majority of the employees are young kids in their 20's.

Cut to the lobby bar: Paul, me, Angela (one of Paul's direct reports) and her hubby Randy are having fun watching all the kids dance to the salsa band. Over and over again, many people come thank Paul, joke with him and chat a bit. As the night goes on, the traffic increases. Finally at one point, this woman (who is not with the company and just vacationing with her hubby) comes up to me and says, "Excuse me, I can't help but notice all of the people coming up and shaking the man's hand who is sitting next to you. May I ask who he is?"

Anyone who knows me knows I will do one of two things. Completely mess with her or just tell her the truth. Since I have to be the corporate wife, I choose the latter. I explain about the hub and the company trip, commend her for her nosiness because I would totally do the same thing, she laughs and goes back to tell her husband. From that moment on, the hubby is now El Presidente. A lot of hooting and hollering plus major AHAHAHAHAHA'S! ensue. We tease the hub that he's 'holding court'. This leads to us dancing then Paul playing the bongos with one of the account managers. Long story short, lots of fun. Hilarious things that happen:

*A young kid full of beer tries to teach us to blow out a conch shell
*Same kid introduces his friend to Paul as his 'boss's boss's boss's boss'
*Same kid tells me "You're too hot for him" while pointing at the hub
*Same kid (when Paul is playing the bongos) says to us all "Do you think Paul likes me?" He is kind of teetering as he asks this.

Here's the kid (on the left) coaching us

Coaching Angela

El Presidente

Later we eat then the hub and I (in total teenager mode) go to a bar called CoCo Bongo. All I can say is CRAZY and totally against fire code. If there was ever a fire, no one would be able to get out. The coolest thing was that there are different dance shows going on throughout the night on the ceiling. Some highlights:

Why is my finger in his ear..

Cancun Update - Day 3

The Annoying Drunk Woman

The hub gets out of bed dancing. We stay out at the pool all day and relax. You don't realize how many mudslides you drink because they go down wwaayy to easy and are free. Lots of water volleyball, more mudslides, and tons of sunscreen.

We eat dinner at this fabulous steakhouse in the hotel (and no I didn't eat meat, just yummy shrimp). It was AMAZING then take a cab to Pat O'Briens. We were a little early which was fine cuz we were able to find two good seats at the bar and we just start hanging out watching everyone. We see this lady in her 40's hanging out at the bar by herself getting shots from the tequila girl. At first glance, she's well dressed and a pretty gal. Cut to about an hour later - She is drunk out of her mind and has about 5 empty shot glasses and 6 empty beer mugs in front of her. This woman invented the term SLOPPY DRUNK. Things she did:

*Tried to make out with the tequila shot girl
*Got up on stage with a couple who were singing karoake together and got right in their faces while they were trying to sing (the waiters finally pulled her off the stage)
*Tried to do the electric slide but couldn't..but still did..while she staggered and stumbled
*Got in a conga line with a stupid sombrero hat then suddenly pulled a much younger guy towards her as he was walking and started kissing him

She continues to kiss him and you could tell he thought about it for a second then said "what the hell" and started kissing her back. Within a couple minutes though he realized was a mess she was and escaped back to his table where his buddies were (while they were laughing the entire time). The hub said the guys were starting to give him the 'buddy look'..Of course, she didn't even notice he was gone and probably forgot instantly she molested him on the dance floor.

Of course, we're both laughing hysterically at this point. By the time we compose ourselves, she's disappeared. I predict throwing up in the bathroom, the hub says something about a back alley. We leave and walk next door to Margaritaville.

We're at the bar again having fun when I look on the dance floor and....THERE SHE IS AGAIN dancing and grinding with one of the waiters. After I yell to the hub, "YOU'RE KIDDING ME, LOOK!" he turns around and starts laughing. Dumb things she did there:

*Dance on stage with girls half her age (she has NO RHYTHM whatsoever)
*Stays on stage by herself, lays on her back, keeps pumping her pelvis up. She's wearing someone's red visor at this point
*Keeps pulling down the cap sleeves on her little black dress to expose her shoulders but the sleeves keep coming back up
*STAYS on stage AND continues to dance in front of the now brought down movie screen showing Madonna's Like A Virgin video. I have tears in my eyes at the point laughing at the irony of this scene. Again, waiters eventually drag her off
*Tries continually to convince the bartender to hold her purse behind the bar but he won't do it
*Jumps from group to group of young kids butting in on their fun thinking she is just as young as they are

Paul thinks she is an ugly high paid hooker. I think she's a realtor who's lonely and looking for love in all the wrong places.

If this isn't enough, some very drunk tall young blonde starts motioning to either me or Paul, we're not sure which. I quickly realize that she's motioning to Paul but when I catch her eye and give her the EVEN-THOUGH-WE-CAN'T-GET-IN-TROUBLE-SINCE-WE'RE-HERE-(SOMEWHAT)-ON-BUSINESS- I- WILL-STILL-DECK-YOU-DRAG-YOU-OUTSIDE-AND-ROLL-YOU-IN-THE PARKING-LOT-THEN-DENY-I-DID-IT look. She gets the hint, makes the cutting motion under her neck then stumbles into some scary guy that looks like a wannabe Jack Black. Use your imagination from there.

Can you tell I've had too much to drink at this point? For me that equals about 2 margaritas. Apparently I didn't get the memo because we went to the Hard Rock next and caught the last set of the incredible band. All of sudden, we realize we're old again and need to go home. Back to the hotel we go.

Cancun- 2nd Day

Leonard, Dee and Me on the Island of Women

It's check in day for the employees so I decide to go to Isla Mujeres to shop. This is a small island about 25 minutes off the coast by ferry. I'm ferry-bound to the island trying not to throw up (i always get seasick, it's so annoying) when I start talking to another couple on the boat. We hit it off and they offer to share their golf cart rental with me so we can explore the island.

Me on the back of the golf cart Me getting nervous about that taxi zooming up on us.

After 2 hours of driving at 5 miles an hour around the island and finally introducing ourselves officially (haha!) we decide to shop. This couple, Dee and Leonard, are fabulous and lots of fun. After we figure out where the golf cart rental is, which was quite the adventure on tons of one way streets, we shop, talk, shop more and just wander around and have fun until we take the ferry back. I'm fighting the vomit monster again while pretending I'm fine. Leonard offers to switch seats with me since he's by a window but if I move I'll loose it so I keep pretending I'm fine.

We share a taxi, I drop them off at their hotel, big hugs, exchanging email addresses, etc and I'm off. They were a blast and made my day trip even more fun. Ok Leonard and Dee, if you're reading this, I expect a comment from you (I gave them the low-down on blogs and warned them I'd be writing about them).

Back at the hotel - I rush to shower and change for the welcome dinner. All the employees have been checked in and the hubby is back up in the room getting ready. Some pics of him welcoming everyone at the welcome dinner. I'm sitting there smiling but all I could think of was how hot he looked.

The hub welcoming the crowd.

The crowd and our first of many fabulous sunsets of the week.

After dinner everyone scatters and the hubby and I go to Senor Frogs and dance, drink margaritas and have fun. At least we had fun until the dj asked if the class of 2008 (it was Grad Week which is another manufactured Cancun holiday to get kids down there to spend spend spend) was having fun. Paul and I look at each other and both immediately calculate how many years it's been since we graduated high school, 21 for me, 30 for him. I realize that the kids dancing around us are about our oldest son's age (18), then see some chaperones hanging in the back who look to be OUR age. We decide it's time to go. That's the fun thing about the hubby and me. We still think we're teenagers....no seriously, sometimes we do.



Back to the hotel. It's been a long day and we're beat.

Cancun - 1st Day

We landed in Cancun on Sunday. It was overcast and a little rainy. Our driver found us pretty quick and hustled us out of the airport fast. The hotel was beautiful.

Note: The reason we were in Cancun was a company function for the hubby's work. It was an all expense paid reward trip for 250 employees across the various sites in the US. Each employee was allowed to bring a guest who's expenses were covered as well.

Anyway, the hubby was the head honcho on the trip which turned out to be a huge source of amusement for me (it is every year we go on one of these trips- you'll read more of this in the next post or two). Seven of us flew in the day before the 500+ people came so the hubby could meet with the US Consulate, the hotel big wigs and staff, and basically just prep. Check in day is always CRAZY (I don't have to hang around for it; it's an exploration day for me).

We had drinks in the lounge then dinner at the Japanese restaurant in the hotel which was AWESOME.

After dinner, we explored the grounds and go to the room. Umm, did I mention our room? Long story short, two years ago when we were in St Thomas, we were put in a basic room while the other execs were in suites. No biggee, we didn't say anything about it. Cut to this trip, the gal who planned this trip upgraded our room because of the St Thomas thing. Moral to this story, when something goes wrong on a company paid trip, keep your mouth shut because 2 years later when you're in Cancun you get paid back. Ain't Karma grand? It got us this:

Nuff said.

Random Cancun Update

Having fun and partyin like rock stars LOL. Paul in the middle
playing volleyball right now. I think we may need to move here. Lots
of funny stories to share but not right now. Too busy drinking my
mudslide woohoo!!!!!!

Snoozing at the Airport

We were out of the house by 4:30 am (yawn) now we're checked in and
sitting at the gate. My eyes are glazed over and even with makeup on
I'm sure I an pale but who cares, we're in our way to (wet and stormy)
Cancun!!

Side note- While we checking in the girl next to us was trying to
check in on an expired passport. The attendant wouldn't let her do it.
The girl asked if she could just check in and fly the first leg to Phx
then try to check in there to get to Cancun. The attendant's reply:

"Once you get to Phx they'll tell you the same thing I am then they'll
fly you back here. The airline will be fined and I could lose my job
so you're not going. Get over it."

It took all of me not to start laughing but I did snicker a little bit
then turned around and told Paul. At least I woke up a little.