More Phone Speak

Me: Hello?

Hub: Hey, what's up. I'm on my way home.

Me: Cool. What d'ya wanna have for dinner tonight.

Hub: Answers way to quickly Let's go out.

Me: Good, I'm craving curry....hmm..he obviously has hated my cooking this week. i'm trying tons of new vegi stuff.

Hub: Is there anywhere where we could possibly go that has curry that doesn't smell like ass?
he hates thai, chinese, or japanese food...and yes, i still married him.

Me: How the hell would i know? Maybe PeiWei?

Hub: Fine..

Me: Ok, bye.

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Me: Hello?

Hub: Hey, I'm on my way home.

Me: All right, see you soon.

Hub: Hey, do you remember *Fred* from a few years ago who left the company? Well, he works for a consulting company who hired the firm who's going to audit our company. Freaky. He was the one who blah-blah-blah..

Me: Huh? I'm confused. Who does *Fred* work for now?

Hub: You know, that consulting company that blah-blah-blah...

Me: Wait. Who is *Fred* again?

Hub: Remember? He sent us a Christmas card a few years ago. He left to go to that company that blah-blah-blah...

Me: starting to get a little annoyed So he's coming to town then to do the audit?

Hub: No..he hired the company who is doing the audit.

silence

Hub: You're not listening to me at all are you.

Me: No, I'm not actually.

Hub: I'll be home in a couple minutes.

Me: Bye.

Click.

Randomness

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Why Paul, Robin, Lindsay and Scott should not be let loose in public




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Hubby and Wife Speak or in other words What I have to put up with

Hub: Do you know you have a big hole in your underwear?

Me: huh? oh yeah, I took a spin class today.

Hub: What does that have to do with the hole?

Me: This is my work-out underwear.

Hub: So, don't you want to feel good about yourself underneath your clothes?

Me: Dude, if I felt that good about myself I wouldn't have to take the f'n spin class.

Hub: I'm just sayin..

Me: You mean to tell me that even at the gym or cleaning the house I'm supposed to wear nice underwear? You're out of your mind.

Hub: Yeah, why not?

Me: Do I need to pull out the picture of you in two different socks that don't match AND one of the socks had a hole in it? Next time you're in the boardroom, I'm sure you'll be all warm and fuzzy thinking about that sh*t.

Me: walking out of the room mumbling sh*t I can't write about cuz our parents read this damn blog.

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I have been trying to exercise my brain (whatever the hell that means) lately. I'm doing this because I'm tired of walking around the house singing SpongeBob's It's The Best Day Ever.

Even though it sounds lame, knitting actually makes my brain work quite a bit. Trying to figure out the patterns that look like hyroglyphics, looking up how to do this stitch and that, and trying to keep track of what stitch your on seems to really make me concentrate/mess with my head.

I'm working on a 550 piece puzzle in my spare time (yeah right or in other words, the thing may never be finished) trying to keep my brain from turning to mush, reading Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain, and trying to figure out how the hell to crochet..oh yeah, and sudoku. Whoever invented that crap should be shot.

None of the above, however, could stop me from almost walking face first into the frig last night for no apparent reason.

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I've mentioned before I love to cook and that I'm a vegetarian:

So why the hell am I cooking this? Ick! Because I'm the only vegi in the house.

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What I look like when I'm happy...or in other words When I've had too much of the sauce

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It's all romance and fairy tales during the courtship:

Until they get married and reality hits the princess.

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and finally..What's wrong with this picture?

Husband and Wife Speak

Hub: Hey, where's my wine?

Me: I drank it.

Hub: Why?!

Me: Because I thought it was mine.

Hub: Where is your glass?

Me: It was empty so I put it in the sink.

Hub: So how could you have thought mine was yours when you knew you put yours in the sink?

Me: I don't know, I just thought yours was mine.

Hub: Where's the bottle - hey, why is the bottle empty? We just opened it.

Me: Cuz I drank it.

Hub: What?!? I thought you said you put your glass in the sink. Did you refill my glass thinking it was yours?

Me: No, I drank the rest straight from the bottle.

Hub: From the bottle? Why didn't you use your glass?

Me: Cuz it was in the sink.