Friday, June 27, 2008

Ok, I'll Give It Up Now

Time for the big reveal..First though, everyone's comments were hysterical! Very creative ;-) except for my brother's of course: I AM NOT ADOPTED, YOU ARE!

Gee, I think this may be a let down now that I've built it up so much:

I...was...born...not...being...able...to...smell...

Disadvantages: I don't know what ANYTHING smells like..cookies baking, bacon frying, my daughter's sweet smell (according to everyone who smells her). My taste is going. I only know when something stinks because all of a sudden I get violently sick to my stomach. It's my only cue.

Advantages: Don't notice when everyone farts around me other than hearing it, someone has serious body odor, or something just seriously stinks (unless I'm too close to it then I get nauseous). I can eat some SERIOUSLY spicy food, which ultimately leads to the firepot the next day but I can deal with that.

I remember in first grade some kid saying that a banana smelled good and I thought he was nuts. It was around then that I started noticing that kids, my family, and others talked about things that smelled. I really thought they were all retarded and didn't understand this at all..

Cut to years and years of therapy later. Just kidding, no therapy, just lots of specialists..Their diagnosis: I was either born without an o-factory gland or I have some sort of major blockage. Either way, I'd have to have exploratory surgery (break my nose and poke around up in there) to find out the issue but no matter what the problem, it can't be fixed. My answer: No flippin way for the following reasons:

*What's the point if they can't fix it?
*My nose is big enough as it is so why have it broken and totally messe it up even more? (The hub calls it the schnoz and told me early on when we were dating that I had a huge nose. He also makes fun of me because I can look down and see my own nose..How's that for love?)

To address the bullet points from my original post:

*My mother caused it - Theory #1: She worked in the chemical division of Motorola when she was pregnant with me. They allowed her to work until she was 6 months along then made her go on maternity leave because back then the last trimester was considered the most critical developmental stage. Chemicals+pregnant mom=baby with big nose who can't smell..

Theory #2: She had chronic bronchitis when she was pregnant with me. Her doctor prescribed her medicine which they would never give pregnant moms now.

A specialist once told me that it had to be one of these two theories. Something just got messed up in my development. He said I should be thankful that that was all it was. Hey dude, speak for yourself. I have much bigger issues than this..

*Certain stores I can't go in to: Bath and Body Works mainly, candle stores, perfume stores. Think of it as being blind. Why go shopping when you can't see shit? Same concept.

*Pummeled by questions: Can you taste? Can it be fixed? You can't smell anything? What about food cooking? Body Odor? Farts? Close your eyes and let me put something under your nose. Have you tried acupuncture? So you can't smell and your taste is going. How sad is it to be you? You can't smell out of THAT nose? Over and over and over again......

*The hub was obsessed by it. Picture all of the questions above asked repeatedly throughout the first year of dating plus him farting under the covers, in front of me, testing me continually..smell this..do you smell that?

Oh yeah, and I continue to lie about it all the time to unsuspecting souls. Like the time I was walking through the make-up/perfume section in Dillards and got accosted by those chicks who wear too much make-up.
"Excuse me ma'am, try our new perfume"
Me: Gee, that smells great..Like roses..

or when I'm around people who are exclaiming that something smells wonderful.
Me: Yes, that DOES smell great. Sniff, Sniff It smells like 'insert adjective here'.

Or when Pip says "Mommy Mommy smell that!" and sticks something under my nose. I've tried to explain it to her but she doesn't get it yet. She'll be as equally obsessed as her daddy was.

The worst thing is that my mom, dad and brother all forget about this continually. See my brother's (Weith Kick) comment in my original post. See what I mean? ALL THE TIME. Example:

Mom: Rob, smell this, does it smell ok?
Me: Dirty look I can't because you smelled chemicals and screwed up my nose.
Mom: Oh yeah I forgot.

or

Dad or Bro: Eww, what smells like big business? Rob, the baby just pooped in his/her diaper. Can't you smell that?

Me: NO I CAN'T SMELL IT DARN IT! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE REMEMBER THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Filed under: Now You Know My Jack'd Up Secret

18 comments:

Kari Haskell said...

WOW! That's so interesting!!!
This has really made me think about SMELLING! :) I have a NOSE that can pick out a smell no matter how subtle. We're OPPOSITES!
great post.

Weith Kick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Weith Kick said...

You can't smell?

Jill - GlossyVeneer said...

I'm like Kari, I can catch a whiff of even the tiniest scents. It's really frustrating when the odor is particularly noxious!

Scent and taste are so closely tied together... how do you enjoy any foods?!

scargosun said...

Wow. That's really tough. My sense of smell is really sensitive and P looks at me like I am nuts when I say that I CAN smell certain things.

BoufMom9 said...

You are the firts person I have ever heard of with that! WOW!
I am like the previous posted, kari. I SMELL EVERYTHING! I swear I can smell "dead" four states away. LOL
Is the fact that your taste is gong related to the smell factor or something different? (yes, LOL, questions...)

Swirl Girl said...

WOW- I didn't think it was possible not to smell.

I guess if you never have been able to, than the world is defined by how you know it to be. Not like you could smell, and suddenly couldn't.

Now- here's a question...as the olfactory sense greatly impacts our sense of taste (whereas you can only taste 5 distinct characteristics but (most)people can smell virtually 1000's of things - I wonder if you 'taste' the same way I do?

Sort of like a color blind person, who sees red 'his way'. Is the same red that I see??

waaay to metaphysical a discussion for this comment. Sorry- but I find this fascinating.!

www.swirlgirlspearls.blogspot.com

LisaPetrarcaBlog said...

Never would have guessed that...I unfortunately have a SUPER SONIC Nose. Back in the clubbing days when someone would drop a fart bomb, my girlfriends would grab me and race me through the HOT spot before I threw up.

It's frustrating to always smell things that no one else can, especially when I say "Ewww, do you smell that?" And they say, "NO what are you talking about?"

I feel your opposite pain Robin!!

Have a great weekend and thank you so much for your comments!!

LiteralDan said...

Wow, I'd never met an anosmic person before. That is, once my son finally began commenting on smells at age four-- before that I was sure I'd MADE one. (Hence I know the name for it.)

You're not missing anything at B&BW or the candle stores, trust me. But you must find eating a chore-- do you?

Veggie Mom said...

Hi! I'm new to the Blogosphere, and I found your site thru another link. Interesting stuff here! I'm running a giveaway, and I'd love it if you'd stop by. http://poprs.blogspot.com/2008/06/giveaway-tuesday.html Drop in any time! :)

Lane Boyz Mom said...

Hmmm I am kinda leaning towards that possibly being a GOOD thing...my bonus daughter has spent the entire day farting away over here, I actually told her to just toss her undies in the trash I didn't want to try and wash them, LOL And do I need to bring up the litter box?? Think about that;)

But seriously, I had no idea that that could really happen.

dani said...

robin, my friend the anonymous d cannot smell either, but she can taste. it would be so sad for the two of you to not be able to do either!!!
it is interesting for sure, and i would never have guessed:b
love,
dani
ps your brother never fails to crack me up:D

Robin said...

Thanks all for the hilarious comments..

To answer some questions:

Yes, I can taste most foods but my taste is definitely going. I can see a huge difference between now and about 5 years ago..I love SPICY SPICY foods that most people can't handle, especially Thai, Chinese, and other ethnic foods that tend to be much more spicy. French foods and delicate sauces are bland to me. I can't detect specific spices, (cilantro in salsa, oregano, thyme, etc) in foods. I can taste the spicier ones though, chile powder, paprika, cayenne peppers, curry..

I've been told several times that if by some miracle my sense of smell were to be fixed that I would probably hate most of the foods I love because of their smells. That would be devastating to me.

I still find it difficult to wrap my head around the concept that if you fart in a crowd of people and no one hears it, they can still smell it. That's like asking me which came first, the chicken or the egg. And seriously, how can some liquid in a bottle, perfume for example, smell like the ocean or a flower?

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Very interesting. I didn't know that this existed. Sounds like it can be a blessing and a curse.

Thanks for visiting my blog. Appreciate your comment.

Leanne said...

Interesting. BUT unless the picture of you up there is TOTALLY photoshoped you DO NOT have a big nose.

American in Norway said...

Sounds way cooler than the fake leg thing I thought of.... : 9
Liked your mortified moment thanks for playing!

Carolina Girl said...

Your mortifying moment on American in Norway's blog reminded me of a similar experience that happened to me involving a co-worker! LOL I'm gonna go post that on hers, so go check it out and have a good laugh :) Your story had me in stitches!!!

Let me tell you - I have 3 cats and that no-smell thing would come in handy when I'm scooping their litter box! PHEW!

Black Hockey Jesus said...

That's completely trippy. I can't even imagine.


I'm married. I have 3 kids. I have a big nose. Now go on and catch up.

Keep it nice or I'll post your email and make fun of you.

pof5@cox.net

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