Saturday, August 30, 2008

Update on My Dad

I finally have a few minutes to sit down and blog a bit. My dad is doing well. He is now out of the cardiac icu which is wonderful. He did extremely well during the surgery which his doc attributes to his healthy lifestyle and positive attitude.

This week has been really tough seeing my dad in many tubes coming out of him..getting him up out of bed to walk..but as of today he got his last tube out. He is only on oxygen now for the duration of his hospital stay. Hopefully he'll get out on Monday but we'll see.

The nurses in the icu were phenomenal. We were so impressed with them. My dad was very interested in each and every one and made it a point to get to know them all. They all thought he was soo cute. None of us wanted him to leave the icu because they took care of him so incredibly well. The nurses on his current floor are fine but nothing like the icu nurses. I need to pick up a card or flowers as a thank you to them.

My brother, sis-in-law, and I have been trying to help my mom all week but it's been tough. She's pretty stubborn and set in her ways so she's still trying to do everything herself. I think we've worn her down a little though because today she let my brother and sis-in-law run errands for her. Keith has been taking care of the pool and did a little yard work for her as well. Baby steps with her, I tell ya.. Paul and Hunter drove down last night to help which has been great.

My parents started remodeling my old room about 6 months ago and since it still isn't done, I called a friend of mine who owns a construction company to come finish it tomorrow. My mom wasn't too thrilled but I took her to Lowe's today to get the rest of the materials. My dad is relieved though. I just didn't want to have him worry about any of it when he comes home.

We're all pretty stressed so there has been the occasional bickering at one another which is bound to happen with all of us in the house together. Example: After everyone was home from the hospital, we went out to dinner last night which turned out to be a disaster. Long story short - I wanted to hide under the table and pretend I wasn't related to both my mom and Piper. I felt sooo sorry for our waiter.

Pip and I will be here another week. My mother in law watched her for a few nights which was heaven for her since she doesn't get to see Pip as often as she'd like. Luckily she wants her back more this week which works out well so I can help after my dad gets home. My brother and his wife need to leave for Tucson tomorrow at 8am. He's in a play which starts at 12pm so they need to hustle out of here. Paul and Hunter will drive back to Vegas on Monday.

That's about it for now. Need to go outside and paint chair rails and crown moulding so my friend can install tomorrow. I think it might rain in a few hours, great.

ps. we've been writing down all the funny things my dad has said in the hospital. Since some of them were drug-induced, they've been hysterical. I'll have to save that for my next post.

pps. thanks to the 19 or so people who voted for me on just had a chance to check it. As they always say, maybe next year.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Prayers for My Dad

My dad had a quadruple bypass today. This came out of nowhere so we're all still in shock. He's in a lot of pain but did very well in the surgery so he should have a full recovery. The best news of all is that he had absolutely no heart damage at all..Just very blocked arteries.

Yesterday my mom called me mid-day at home. Pip and I had just come home with groceries and I almost didn't answer the phone. So glad I did. I knew instantly something was wrong when I heard my mom trying to compose herself to talk. They had gone to dinner the night before when my dad starting getting chest pains. My mom took him to the emergency room. He was admitted right away. Yesterday morning after several tests, they determined 3 of his arteries were at least 60% blocked. Since my dad is healthy, eats right and takes lots of walks, they think it was from all of the smoking he did for almost 30 years. He stopped about 20 years ago but it was too late. The damage was done.

After I hung up with my mom, I called my brother, then my husband. I picked up Hunter after school, came home, packed up Piper and me then drove from Vegas to Phoenix in record time. I felt horrible for leaving Hunter but he started school yesterday and I didn't want to yank him out without knowing exactly what was going on with my dad. He's 14 so he can take care of himself after school until Paul comes home.

5 hours later, I dropped Pip off at my mother-in-law's and raced to my mom's house. It was about 11pm at that point. My brother had come in from Tucson, we were all emotional and exhausted so we went to bed.

This morning we got up at 5:30a to be at the hospital by 6:15a. My dad was going into surgery at 7:30 so we wanted to spend some time with him before he went in. Long story short- his surgery was rescheduled till 12pm. My uncle (dad's brother) came so we all spent the morning with my dad laughing and talking. My dad was in a great mood, joking with the nurses and us. He said he was ready to get this done and just start feeling better. He'd been fatigued for so long now which we now know was attributed to this.

Watching him go into surgery was one of the scariest moments of my life. Seeing him afterwards was even worse. My dad, my daddy. Looking so pale and frail and even worse seeing him in so much pain was more than my mom, brother and me could bare. We were there when they took the breathing tube out which was so rough for him. They told him not to talk for awhile but he tried to talk right away. My dad loves to talk. It made us all smile.

My oldest son Jake came to the hospital so my dad go to see him for a bit. He is 19 now and moved back to Phoenix after he graduated from high school. My ex-husband Mike (the boys' dad) even came and sat with us awhile while my dad was in recovery. That in itself was huge for all of us.

They ended up taking 2 veins out of my dad's legs instead of one because they were weak. The veins are needed for the bypasses. In the end, they did the quadruple instead of the triple but as I said, he sailed through it as best as a patient could. He was breathing great after the tube was out, his blood work looked great, his nurses were amazing so even though we were extremely upset seeing him in so much pain, we knew he was in good hands. He has 6 weeks of recovery ahead of him but the hardest part is over.

I'm here at my mom's now getting ready for bed. Don't know next time I'll post..Please send prayers for my dad. He's going to need them for the days ahead.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Nirvana and Paul Anka Don't Suck..Neither Do My Farts

My husband seems to think that his farts don't stink. He's allowed to let 'em rip whenever and wherever with no repurcussion. Hunter and I however are strung up whenever we fart. Example: Tonight we went out for a walk with the dogs when Hunter pushed one out. It is well known in our family that the kid could kill a moose with how rank his toots are (personally I don't know). Since he has this insane talent to make all of his farts silent, they tend to creep up on Paul and surprise him. He gets busted pretty frequently inside the house and car, especially on road trips when we're all trapped. That's his speciality.

Tonight we're outside when Hunter let a silent but violent one. Paul makes that mushed up face and says "AW Hunter! That's disgusting!" I say, "So when is it crime to fart outside? He's not in the car or house. Don't worry about it." Paul says, "It just isn't right when he walks by me and does it." So Hunter walked by him again and let out a LOUD one this time. My kid haz skills...

Paul gets irritated. I told him to stop being so freaked out about it..then I let one go about 10 feet in front of him so he had to walk through it. He smelled it, made that disgusting face, and started in again on Hunter. I told him I did it, Hunter and I started laughing, gave each other the high five and kept walking.

Not 10 minutes before, the man was in the kitchen letting them rip and laughing about it. I've seen him do it in the dogs' faces, Hunter's face and even occasion, Pip's face. Gee, that's not messed up at all. Note: If you don't ever see another post from me, it's cuz my husband read this and buried me in the backyard. Long story short-My husband is a fart hypocrite.

Maybe I was too hard on him but it's been a long weekend. Hunter's birthday was Friday (I'd post pics but I dropped my camera and broke it..don't even get me started), then yesterday Hunter and Paul both woke up sick with fevers and Piper's allergies were flaring up. All I did yesterday was run between the three of them, taking temps, giving meds, and making soup..oh yeah, and wiping snot.

So it comes as no surprise that this morning I woke up feeling like crap while everyone else was fine. Do I get a thanks for yesterday? No. Paul and Pip jump on the bed, "Let's go to church!" I said let's not go this morning, mommy doesn't feel good. Do they care? No. Piper lays on the toddler guilt, "But Mom, I wanna go to church to learn about God."

We went. Right?

I'm so glad we went because the message was great today, however, mama still feels all ucky.

Cut to coming home, eating lunch, putting Pip down for nap, then running out with Hunter for some last minute school supplies, dinner...Yeah, I'm not tired or anything.

Now I'm sitting here watching the Olympics closing ceremony drinking vino..Not feelin it. Why are those guys beating on big cheese drums?

Oh yeah, I'm channel surfing on Sirius in the Green Monster today when I hear a song that sounds familiar. It's Paul Anka singing Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit..No way...It's awesome..Am I old? Dunno but it was cool..I'm cool.

Ok, maybe not so cool. I can't the YouTube video embedded. Here's the link. Go see Anka swing to Nirvana..then go to bed or something.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Friday, August 22, 2008

Mama's Fun Weird

The kids and I were at Baskin Robbins yesterday picking up Hunter's birthday cake..We stood in line foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr. There was only 1 girl there and about 10 people in line. The mother in front of me was ordering like..everything..I so wanted an ice cream myself when I realized how large she was. That smacked me back into the realization that I could look like that some day if I eat all that friggin ice cream. No ice cream for mama...

Somehow Hunter and I started talking about old people. He said that he's noticed that old people act really weird and strange. I was about to laugh when he said, "I bet you're gonna be a weird old person Mom."

Me: "HUH?" "What?"
Him: " I don't mean weird weird, I mean fun weird."
Me: "Wa?"
Him: "Well, you're weird already so it just means you'll be weirder when you're old."

So now I know what my middle child thinks of me....

Next conversation went something like this in the freakin-forever-line at Baskin Robbins:

Hunter: "Man, this is taking forever! All these people in line are gonna get mad."
Me: "Who cares if they get mad."
Hunter: "They're all going to get out their AK47's and bust a cap in here."
Me: "That's ok. I'd stop the bullets with my invisible bullet-proof bracelets."

People behind Hunter stare at me.


Finally at the register:

Ice Cream Cashier: "Ma'am how long have you been standing in line with this cake?
Me: about to answer when large lady in front of me answers for me "About 20 minutes!"
Me: "Actually about 10."
Cashier: "Well, you're going to need to put that one back and get another because this one is probably already melted."

What I wanted to say:

"Well, if you store would manage it's staffing properly, it wouldn't be melted now would it? Now be a good little minimum wage cashier and ring me up damn it."

What I really said:

"I don't want another one. This doesn't look melted. I'll just stick it in the freezer when we get home. Ring me up please."

Darn kids. I hate always having to do the right thing around them.
Later last night on the way to Hunter's birthday dinner -

Piper: "Mom is poop really food?"
Me: "Huh? Well, our bodies take all of the good stuff from the food then poops out what it doesn't need so yeah, I guess poop is old food."
Paul: "But you can't eat it though."
Hunter: "Can't you?"
All: "Ug, gross, yuck, ick..."

Hunter: "Mom, why doesn't SpongeBob like anyone in the cartoon?"
Me: "You mean like-like or just like?"
Hunter: "Like-Like"
Me: "HaHaHaHa! Maybe cuz it's a show for kids..?"
Hunter: "Jimmy Neutron likes that blonde girl on his cartoon."
Me: "Hmm..Good point. Doesn't SpongeBob like Sandy Cheeks?"
Paul: "I think SpongeBob like guys."
Me: "Babe, stop! Piper's going to end up warped!"
Hunter: "Yeah, I think he likes Patrick." imitating Patrick "SpongeBob stop that...."
Me: "Hunter!"
Paul: Imitating Squidward "Oh SpongeBob don't stop.."
Me: "You guys stop!"
Hunter: "I totally get it now."

My family is warped...and it's mostly my fault...I luv it..

Thursday, August 21, 2008


Someone anonymously nominated me for the HotBlogger. calendar, woohoo! Maybe it was luck or I dunno. Anyway, thanks to you whomever it was!

So, now the hard part. I need votes! This oughta be good. I already feel like I'm gonna get mayyybe 1 vote. C'mon..Perk up a stay-at-home mom's self-esteem/ego. Gimme some sugah (votes) baby! That would be soo cool to be photoshop'd within an inch of my life on this calendar, I can't even begin to tell you.

What can I do in return? Hmm..I doubt we can find out who actually votes but if so, I'll be happy to give you some Lizard Linky Love here..Or I think I have a Target gift card somewhere. I'm SO not above bribes so name it..Need a place to stay FREE in Vegas? I'll hook you up in our guest house..Need some swing or latin dance lessons? I'm your chick.

Voting starts on August 25th..I'm not sure how many times one can vote but hopefully it'll be more than once..

Wow..Maybe this will bring me to my really big dream of being on Dancing With The Stars! Maybe even the DWTS video! Ok, I know that's reachin but I'm just sayin..

I have a feeling this is gonna get really ugly on twitter..

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Time For Some Back-To-School Drinkin For Mama

Let me prefice this by saying that I love my son Hunter with all the mite that you'd expect a mother to have. Sometimes I think he's my biggest fan in the world. That said, I never want to go school clothes shopping with him again. Especially to my favorite outlet mall where I couldn't go into the shops I wanted to.

Man cannot live by black t-shirts and tan shorts alone. This however seemed to bounce off my thick-headed son. I tried reasoning with him: "We live in the desert. It's hot. Black retains heat. You'll be sweating all the time." No dice. "People will think you're all goth." Didn't work. "You gotta mix it up a little." Nothing.

Me: Do you like this shirt?
Him: No. Too much design.
Me: This one?
Him: I don't want anything on the back of the shirt.
Me: Whadda about this one?
Him: I don't like the color.

Then we looked for shorts.

Me: Do you like these shorts?
Him: No
Me: Do you like these shorts?
Him: No
Me: C'mon, what about these ones? These are cool. I like the funky design.
Him: No, I don't like them. They're skater shorts. I'm not a skater.
Me: You don't have to be a skater to wear them.
Him: Yes, you do.
Me: Then why do you wear Vans then?
Him: Not just skaters wear them.

It doesn't help when the 3 year old in a stroller grabbing at everything we passed. Belts flying, t-shirts dropping from shelves. I was standing there at one point watching my stoic faced son looking at shirts and my daughter acting like a little crapper when I went all Jenny-like from Forrest Gump, "Dear God, please make me a bird so I can fly far far away." It didn't work.

Whoever the genius was that invented those dumb little rides that toddlers can ride on should be drawn and quartered. Piper wanted to ride them despite the fact that they were burning hot to the touch. I finally let her ride a rocketship that she could climb inside (so it wasn't really hot) but as soon as I put my 2 quarters in, she freaked out because she thought it was going to take off so she jumped out. My quarters gone + other scalding rides that aren't scary = a pissed off toddler who can't ride them.

Why is it that clothing stores switch to winter clothes starting in August. Sweaters, jackets, cute umbrellas and rainboots. Rainboots? Umbrellas? In Vegas? Who is the buyer for this store? Don't they follow regional weather trends? I know the logic of buying winter stuff in advance but seriously people, get a grip. It's rained here like 2 times since we moved here 2 years ago! Anyway, I was looking for some playdresses for the little crapper so we go into one of my fave kids' store, A Childrens' Place. Stop. It's all WINTER STUFF. NOT ONE SUMMERY PLAYDRESS. WTF?!?!?!? Robin has officially hit her breaking point.


to which my son replies, "Um mom, that was kinda loud."

Me: "I KNOW! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!" Out of the store we go.

The ride to the outlet mall was a joy. Piper told Hunter continually that I wasn't his mom. I was only her and Jakey's mom. He just played his PSP, nodded and said "uh-huh" a lot which continued to enrage her. She then told him that she liked Jakey more than him. Hunter was all "fine, fine, fine" which again didn't bode well for a peaceful drive. A round of this followed: "You're a stinky butthead!" "No, you are!" "No, YOU are!" NOOOO, YOOOOOOOU AREEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wait. Who is the soon to be 14 year old participating in this yelling match?

THEN, Pip saw a billboard with a gorilla on it. For 10 minutes, she went on some tirade about how she loves King Kong but she hates him, but she loved the movie (she hasn't seen it, what kind of mom do you think i am?), how she wanted to watch it when we got home because she loved him. I said No which I think may have lead to Hunter telling her to be quiet which I think led to the stinky butthead conversation.

It sure was a productive day. We left the mall with one t-shirt, Quicksilver. At least it was white.

Think of me while I'm passed out on the floor tonight.

Monday, August 18, 2008

More Phone Speak

Me: Hello?

Hub: Hey, what's up. I'm on my way home.

Me: Cool. What d'ya wanna have for dinner tonight.

Hub: Answers way to quickly Let's go out.

Me: Good, I'm craving curry....hmm..he obviously has hated my cooking this week. i'm trying tons of new vegi stuff.

Hub: Is there anywhere where we could possibly go that has curry that doesn't smell like ass?
he hates thai, chinese, or japanese food...and yes, i still married him.

Me: How the hell would i know? Maybe PeiWei?

Hub: Fine..

Me: Ok, bye.


Me: Hello?

Hub: Hey, I'm on my way home.

Me: All right, see you soon.

Hub: Hey, do you remember *Fred* from a few years ago who left the company? Well, he works for a consulting company who hired the firm who's going to audit our company. Freaky. He was the one who blah-blah-blah..

Me: Huh? I'm confused. Who does *Fred* work for now?

Hub: You know, that consulting company that blah-blah-blah...

Me: Wait. Who is *Fred* again?

Hub: Remember? He sent us a Christmas card a few years ago. He left to go to that company that blah-blah-blah...

Me: starting to get a little annoyed So he's coming to town then to do the audit?

Hub: No..he hired the company who is doing the audit.


Hub: You're not listening to me at all are you.

Me: No, I'm not actually.

Hub: I'll be home in a couple minutes.

Me: Bye.



Two wonderful things have happened in the last couple of days.

First, my son Hunter came home on Saturday after spending the summer with his dad. He is such a mama's boy so it's always hard for me when he's away. In the past, he'd usually come home sad that he had to leave his dad but as the years pass it's been getting easier. This year he bounced off the plane, had a huge smile on his face and gave his mama a big bear hug. I thought his little sister was going to eat him up at the airport. When we got home, he jumped on his bed, laid there and said "Ahhh, it's great to be home." Talk about music to my ears..I can't believe he's turning 14next week.

About a month ago, I took Piper to the doctor because she had a slight fever for a day or two. The fever ended up to be nothing but the dr. picked up what he thought was a heart murmur. He warned me that it could be an innocent murmur which is actually pretty common in kids and is completely harmless. It didn't matter though because I was very upset and freaked out. After our daughter Wrigley passed away, every little thing that happens to Piper is amplified by 100 million gazillion. Long story short, her appointment was not until this morning so this last month has full of worry and what if's.

The best news of all is that it was only an innocent murmur, nothing at all. Paul and I both had tears in our eyes when the pediatric cardiologist told us that her heart is in pristine condition. She was such a trooper at the appointment. No problem getting the ekg or ultrasound. She just laid on the table and kept winking at us while watching Peter Pan.

I thank God every day for giving me our children. I pray daily for their health, safety, well-being and happiness. Sometimes I can get into auto-pilot when I pray..always praying for the same when things happen like this, I know that God still listens no matter what. It reminds me to not forget to thank Him for blessing us in so many ways...and to pray for those parents whose children may not have had the outcome that we had today.

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Importance

The fog rolls in. Unhurried it comes creeping, slinking in almost unnoticed. Unaware that it is converging, she travels through her world of family, errands, and trivial tasks. Slowly her world begins to turn a pale shade of gray. As the fog approaches, the uneasiness sets in. The vagueness comes. An expression emerges. One that conveys confusion, sadness, followed by a lethargy that is beyond her grasp.

No longer able to move quickly, she navigates the dense mass slowly with an abandon that she would otherwise consider wreckless. Her eyes glaze as the importance drifts away. She watches it float elsewhere. Twirling in the fog, leaving its tracks to remind her that it was once there. She wonders when the fog will lift. If the important things will begin to matter again. Her arm stretches, cutting through the fog, reaching for the importance of her life. Reaching and reaching, her arm extends, her fingers brush against it, feeling the goodness, the love, the sanctity of it.

Suddently she panics and scrambles to reach it, to caress it. She uses her body to to cut through the fog, fighting it with each motion. She wants to get back to the importance. To the familiar of her life. Feeling love. Sharing her love. Using her senses. Being aware.

Slowly the fog begins to fade. The uneasiness is still with her but as it begins to dissolve, she worries that it will come back. Its impression is left, its outline has been cast, easy to ignore for awhile until it gains its strength once again.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I May Not Survive This Post

I have a bedroom. I have two friends who are kick-ass designers/faux painters. I am having my 2 friends faux my bedroom.

They're standing behind me asking if I'm drunk, breathing in my ear, and asking if that's a booger hanging out my nose. No seriously, they are.

Currently, I am being threatened by bodily harm if I post pictures of them painting my room or if I write about all of the nasty girl talk that has (is) occurred. I wouldn't normally believe them but since I was already assaulted by one of them yesterday when I mentioned their names and the word blog in the same sentence, I will just post the following. Be-otches.

(Insert angelic music here) Our nostril flaring competition. I SO won this. I don't know if that's actually worth bragging about I'm just sayin...

Dang slobs..Look at what they did to my hallway.

Getting design inspiration from my guest bathroom.

I thought the ladder would be a nice accent piece.

Screw it, let the throw-down begin. Bring it on my painting be-otches. I'm planning on bringin it.

If I survive the carnage, I'll post some pictures when the room is done. It's gonna be off-da-hook yo.

ps. apparently I have nice legs and no cellulite on my butt. either that or they just wanna get paid.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Why Paul, Robin, Lindsay and Scott should not be let loose in public

Hubby and Wife Speak or in other words What I have to put up with

Hub: Do you know you have a big hole in your underwear?

Me: huh? oh yeah, I took a spin class today.

Hub: What does that have to do with the hole?

Me: This is my work-out underwear.

Hub: So, don't you want to feel good about yourself underneath your clothes?

Me: Dude, if I felt that good about myself I wouldn't have to take the f'n spin class.

Hub: I'm just sayin..

Me: You mean to tell me that even at the gym or cleaning the house I'm supposed to wear nice underwear? You're out of your mind.

Hub: Yeah, why not?

Me: Do I need to pull out the picture of you in two different socks that don't match AND one of the socks had a hole in it? Next time you're in the boardroom, I'm sure you'll be all warm and fuzzy thinking about that sh*t.

Me: walking out of the room mumbling sh*t I can't write about cuz our parents read this damn blog.

I have been trying to exercise my brain (whatever the hell that means) lately. I'm doing this because I'm tired of walking around the house singing SpongeBob's It's The Best Day Ever.

Even though it sounds lame, knitting actually makes my brain work quite a bit. Trying to figure out the patterns that look like hyroglyphics, looking up how to do this stitch and that, and trying to keep track of what stitch your on seems to really make me concentrate/mess with my head.

I'm working on a 550 piece puzzle in my spare time (yeah right or in other words, the thing may never be finished) trying to keep my brain from turning to mush, reading Drawing from the Right Side of the Brain, and trying to figure out how the hell to crochet..oh yeah, and sudoku. Whoever invented that crap should be shot.

None of the above, however, could stop me from almost walking face first into the frig last night for no apparent reason.

I've mentioned before I love to cook and that I'm a vegetarian:

So why the hell am I cooking this? Ick! Because I'm the only vegi in the house.

What I look like when I'm happy...or in other words When I've had too much of the sauce

It's all romance and fairy tales during the courtship:

Until they get married and reality hits the princess.

and finally..What's wrong with this picture?

Monday, August 11, 2008

My Jacob

My first born is 19 today. I can't believe it. Where did the time go? I know everyone says this but it really does feel like I just had him yesterday. I remember holding him for the first time, how his soft and smooth his skin felt, how fuzzy his hair was, and how big he was. He was 8 lb 15 3/4 oz. so basically he was a 9 lb baby. The biggest in the nursery. How proud we were.

I don't know why I'm struggling with this birthday as opposed to his 18th. Maybe it's because he's almost my age when I had him. Maybe it's because he's out of high school, moved out and back in Arizona (where we're from) with the rest of our family and friends so I am not with him today. Or maybe because he and his girlfriend have moved in together which has been difficult for me to wrap my head around.

I am full of so much emotion right now thinking about my boy. The rambunctious one. The mischevious one. The sly one. The I-can-fix-anything one. The one who every parent says will drive them to drink or give them gray hairs. I'd give anything to go through those days again with you, Jakey-Poo. I miss them already. I miss the day the bus driver came to the door and said you threw a roller blade wheel at the bus. I miss the day I got a call from the principal (when you were in 3rd grade) because you brought a cap gun on the bus and one of your friends took it out of your backpack and shot it. I miss the day we got the letter from Duke University asking you to test for their 7th grade identification program. I miss when you were about 11 and we used to hide under all the pillows and blankets while your little brother jumped on us. I miss our 'frogging' and 'flicking' fights. I miss your rowdy sleepover parties, going to the beach, riding all the scary rides together at Universal and Disney, bungee jumping with you..everything.

I have always told Jake that even when he is big and tall, he'll always be my baby. When he was younger, he'd always say, "Mom, I will not! I'll be too big to be your baby!" I'd always tell him, "You'll NEVER be too big for that." As a teenager, he'd just smile and rolled his eyes. Well my sweet boy, I am so right. You're still my baby and always will be. I love you..

Sunday, August 10, 2008


I'm gonna make this kinda quick because I'm glued to the Olympics. I live for the Olympics!

Portland was fab..Loved the eccentric, quirky districts it had. Loved how green it was, both literally and enviromentally. I could totally grow my hair down to my butt, never wear make-up again, hug a tree and move there. Not what I expected at all but was sooo much better.

The Space Needle in Seattle was cool. For those of you who saw my twit on it's size compared to the Stratosphere, I was way off. They looked to be about the same size..I dunno. There were tons of Starbucks there (chu ching!) but did I get to go in ANY? Not until we were at the airport leaving Seattle. I was about to go into the very FIRST one EVER when we were at Pike's Market but guess-who didn't want to cross the busy street to get to it (ARG!). I didn't know at the time it was the first one. It was only later when we rode the duck boats that we found out. Yes, the hub was in the dog house at that point. Anyhoo, Seattle was cool as well.

And yes! I caught a fish at Pike's Fish Market! For any of you who have never heard of Pike's, (what planet have you been on?), this fish market is world famous. To try and catch a fish there is a must when you are a Seattle tourist. Google it if you don't believe me.

And now (insert drumroll here) for the pictures:

Remember this guy? He was dated a girl during the Real World Seattle season.

This guy stole my sunglasses off my head.

Serious concentration..Serious teeth..

Yeah baby! Caught it even with a million people flashing their cameras right in my face!

Just getting off the Duck boat in Seattle. It's a WWII amphibias boat that was used in Normandy. We went around downtown then plunged into Lake Union. Pip's quackin on her quacker.

That's it for now..Time to watch some swimming. Tomorrow is my baby's birthday. I can't believe he's going to be 19! More to come..

She's Back!!

I'm back! We were in Portland for 5 days then Seattle for 3. Both
cities were beautiful and had so much to do and see. I'll post a
couple pics later...maybe even a few of yours truly catching a fish at
Pike's Fish Market.

Monday, August 4, 2008

The 80's Called..They Want Their Perm Back.

On Saturday night the hub and I went to see Human League, Belinda Carlisle, Naked Eye, and Flock of Seagulls, and ABC. If you saw my last post, you'll see how close to the stage we were. Synopsis of the night:

If you want don't want to read my concert review, skip to the end of this post. You won't want to miss my confrontation with a hooker.

Naked Eye: Biggest songs of the 80's: Promises, Promises and There's Always Something There To Remind Me. The lead singer sounded pretty much the same but it was hard to get past the fact that he was a perv. He kept trying to get these two girls to come up and dance in front of the stage. Not impressed or in other words, total tool.

Flock of Seagulls: We all remember the song I Ran. Yes, they sang it but they sucked. All of their songs sucked. I didn't expect the lead singer to still have his trademark winged hair, but I doubt anyone expected him to look like he just got done washing his car. He had a long weird braid down his back and an old dirty cap. His jeans were way to tight so his gut completely hung out. He had a wife beater with a long sleeve shirt over it that looked liked it just got out of the dryer. Ick. So, lead singer/biker dude barely talked to the audience and acted like he was doing us a favor by being there. Tool #2.

ABC: They ROCKED! The entire audience was on their feet dancing and singing. Martin Fry sounded exactly the same and sang all of their biggest hits with the same oomph and energy that he did in the 80's. Look of Love, Poison Arrow, How to Be A Millionare, When Smokey Sings...they were all awesome. He looked great and wore a kick-ass white jacket with rhinestones all over it.

Belinda Carlisle: ROCKED! She looked and sounded exactly the same. I was surprised that she danced the same as well. What was so funny is that she was..well, funny. She joked with the audience and seemed genuinely happy to be there. She sang Mad About You, Heaven on Earth, Vacation, Circle in the Sand, and I Get Weak. All amazing.

Human League - Totally divas. Their set change took forever. All of their instruments were white and looked like they were straight out of the 80's, ie-those old huge synthesizers. They sang 6 songs (the 2 women had 3 costume changes) which the first 3, nobody knew. A guy finally yelled out, "Sing something we know man!!!!!" They sounded good on Fascination and Don't You Want Me Baby but their finally song was one that no one knew either so people started walking out, including us. Tool #3

During the Flock of Seagulls, some chick in a red hoochie mama dress, an old perm and no shoes started running down the aisle to dance in front of the stage. The security guys stopped her but she started arguing with them. Of course, she does it right in front of me and hub and blocks our view of the stage. I decide this is taking way to long so I stand up, grab her arm and tell her "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY." She turned to look at me but the guard grabbed her other arm and drug her up the aisle. As she was walking/staggering/hopping away, she's pointing and yelling at me, "BITCH!!! SHE'S A BITCH! BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH!" I looked at her, give her a sweet smile, waved and said "Bye-Bye!" which just enraged her even more, then everyone in my row started laughing. During the next intermission, the couple in front of me and the guy next to me thanked me.

Hooker continued to make a fool out of herself (stealing peoples' seats to get closer, running down other aisles to get to the stage) during the rest of the concert and almost got kicked out with her date/ (the guy she was with didn't look like her type, hence our estimation that she was a call-girl/cheap escort).

After the concert:

*The hub tells me I have a short fuse which he already knows - doi.
* I look for the hooker so I can trip her in her stilletos but can't find her.
* I think of funny one liners I would've have told her if ran into her, ie-

"The 80's called, they want their perm back"
"Excuse me, the hooker section is over there"
" Two words for you: Personal Stylist "
"I should have told you to move your BONY a*s out of the way"

All in all fun night.

Oh - word to the wise: The night before you go to a 4 hour concert, don't have your friends over and drink like 6 glasses of red wine while swimming with all the kids, then run errands the entire next day while forgetting to eat, then try and sit through said concert while trying to survive on a bag of pretzels and 2 captain & cokes. By 10:30pm, you are a mess..even after you finally eat dinner at a yummy restaraunt inside the Planet Hollywood Casino.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Close Up Baby!

We're at Planet Hollywood waiting to see Human League, ABC, Flock of Seagulls, and Belinda Carlisle. Check out how close we are.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Meet the Undomestic Diva!

The Undomestic Diva has spoken..

1) You are a glass of wine. Describe yourself.
Nutty and aged

2) Favorite family vacation? Favorite one with out CandyAss?
We're not very good at vacations around here because we can never agree on going to the same place. So Candy Ass has his fishing trips and I... wait a goddamn minute... I'm getting screwed on that deal! Thanks for pointing it out...

3) Is Elvis really dead?
No. It's a little known fact, but Elvis is alive and well, performing nightly in Tijuana. (I saw the fliers myself.)

4) How is your cafepress venture going?
Um... I should probably put a little more effort into, which I haven't yet, so I'm not really pushing it. (Read: No one's buying shit.)

5) How come no one ever responds to me on twitter?
Truth be told, I've just realized what it means to Twitter. I used to just post random things that popped into my head and didn't follow anyone else. Narcissistic, I know. Then I suddenly realized how Twitter actually worked and I'm hooked. I actually went to bed last night, saw something funny, and felt an undeniable urge to get back up, turn on my laptop and Twitter it. True story. I'm an addict. But I'm having a hard time breaking into the conversations. People who have chosen to follow me are also choosing to ignore me. So it's not you, it's not me... it's them.

6) What would be your first question to people who live in Antarctica?

7) Who is your favorite relative and why?
Oh sure, get me in trouble.

8) What is the coolest thing you've seen on someone else's blog?
There's a lot of cool shit out there. I once had to copy Jennsylvania's idea (with her permission, of course) having people describe their life story in 6 words or less like Hemingway once did. It was very profound, right up until Dad Gone Mad responded with "I jerk off with two hands."

And now for random crap:

beer or wine Wine
(red) and make it cheap

water or soda

jay leno or david letterman
Letterman, for sure

simon, paula or randy
While Paula is one fun train wreck to watch and Randy's got the slanguage down, I have to say Simon is the most tolerable. The most real. Or maybe it's that he's the least obnoxious. I had to quit American Idol last season when they axed Michael Johns too early on. He was one hawt Austrailian, eh mate?

toilet paper on the holder or on top of the toilet
On top. We actually just bought our first toilet paper roll holder... for decoration, I guess.

big mac or whoppers
Ick to both, but if I have to choose, it'd be the big mac.

tom cruise - short man syndrome? Yes or No?
This is a classic example of "What The Fuck Happened?!?!" Short man syndrome, control freak and scary mutha fucka wrapped into one tiny little couch hoppin' package.

I enjoyed digging through your blog. Love how you write about CandyAss. It's a much better name than mine, who I call The Hub (boring). Thinking of changing it to Anti-Blog Man..or maybe I'll have a contest..

They're all anti-blog... Candy Ass constantly feels the need to prefice everything with "this isn't going to be on your blog, right?" and I'm like, oh yeah, no way, don't worry and then hurry and publish it. Hey, he's not my boss.

Thanks for the interview! Great questions and I had fun.

I'm married. I have 3 kids. I have a big nose. Now go on and catch up.

Keep it nice or I'll post your email and make fun of you.

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