Friday, August 22, 2008

Mama's Fun Weird

The kids and I were at Baskin Robbins yesterday picking up Hunter's birthday cake..We stood in line foreverrrrrrrrrrrrr. There was only 1 girl there and about 10 people in line. The mother in front of me was ordering like..everything..I so wanted an ice cream myself when I realized how large she was. That smacked me back into the realization that I could look like that some day if I eat all that friggin ice cream. No ice cream for mama...

Somehow Hunter and I started talking about old people. He said that he's noticed that old people act really weird and strange. I was about to laugh when he said, "I bet you're gonna be a weird old person Mom."

Me: "HUH?" "What?"
Him: " I don't mean weird weird, I mean fun weird."
Me: "Wa?"
Him: "Well, you're weird already so it just means you'll be weirder when you're old."

So now I know what my middle child thinks of me....

Next conversation went something like this in the freakin-forever-line at Baskin Robbins:

Hunter: "Man, this is taking forever! All these people in line are gonna get mad."
Me: "Who cares if they get mad."
Hunter: "They're all going to get out their AK47's and bust a cap in here."
Me: "That's ok. I'd stop the bullets with my invisible bullet-proof bracelets."

People behind Hunter stare at me.


Finally at the register:

Ice Cream Cashier: "Ma'am how long have you been standing in line with this cake?
Me: about to answer when large lady in front of me answers for me "About 20 minutes!"
Me: "Actually about 10."
Cashier: "Well, you're going to need to put that one back and get another because this one is probably already melted."

What I wanted to say:

"Well, if you store would manage it's staffing properly, it wouldn't be melted now would it? Now be a good little minimum wage cashier and ring me up damn it."

What I really said:

"I don't want another one. This doesn't look melted. I'll just stick it in the freezer when we get home. Ring me up please."

Darn kids. I hate always having to do the right thing around them.
Later last night on the way to Hunter's birthday dinner -

Piper: "Mom is poop really food?"
Me: "Huh? Well, our bodies take all of the good stuff from the food then poops out what it doesn't need so yeah, I guess poop is old food."
Paul: "But you can't eat it though."
Hunter: "Can't you?"
All: "Ug, gross, yuck, ick..."

Hunter: "Mom, why doesn't SpongeBob like anyone in the cartoon?"
Me: "You mean like-like or just like?"
Hunter: "Like-Like"
Me: "HaHaHaHa! Maybe cuz it's a show for kids..?"
Hunter: "Jimmy Neutron likes that blonde girl on his cartoon."
Me: "Hmm..Good point. Doesn't SpongeBob like Sandy Cheeks?"
Paul: "I think SpongeBob like guys."
Me: "Babe, stop! Piper's going to end up warped!"
Hunter: "Yeah, I think he likes Patrick." imitating Patrick "SpongeBob stop that...."
Me: "Hunter!"
Paul: Imitating Squidward "Oh SpongeBob don't stop.."
Me: "You guys stop!"
Hunter: "I totally get it now."

My family is warped...and it's mostly my fault...I luv it..


Swirl Girl said...


I swear to god we have the exact same conversations at my place.

Karma babe - Karma.


Warped families rock!
I love the part where Hunter said they'd bust a cap in here. ha ha ha!

Weith Kick said...

That's an odd question for 3 year old girl to ask. "Is poop food?" Actually, that is smart of her to ask that. I wonder how she came to that deduction.

Britt said...

ohmygosh..I'm having flashbacks to my childhood. Good memories :o) Actually, we still have these conversations .. just weirder since most of us are adults now.

Mama Dawg said...

I'll never be able to look at Spongebob the same way again.

I'm married. I have 3 kids. I have a big nose. Now go on and catch up.

Keep it nice or I'll post your email and make fun of you.

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