Sunday, November 30, 2008

I'm Ready For My Close-Up..

Shot a commerical today for the show..

Then did some publicity shots..

Then rehearsed for about 6 hours..

I'm thinking I'm ready now to play Bella in the next Twilight movie. If the chick who plays her now is suddenly found wandering aimlessly with no memory in a parking lot, I had nothing to do with it.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Gobble, Gobble..Apparently I am a Nag.

-Cooking Thanksgiving Day: Relaxing
-Hauling all the food to our friend's house: Comical
-Eating a fab dinner: De-lish...
-While playing Taboo, listening to your husband describe Nag by saying "This is what my wife does" then having your son yell out "NAG!" instantly: Hysterical (he is now grounded for life)
-Being added to an 88 year old woman's email list to I can get her dirty emails: PRICELESS


Thanksgiving morning before starting to cook...Yikes, that's a close-up.

Bourbon Pumpkin pie goin in the oven..Huh? What's THAT word? Attempting to describe without using my hands..Dino gets sent to the corner by Courtney for cheatingIsn't he handsome?
Aww..Ain't that sweet..Man-love..One can't be without the other. My other daughter..
Phil..What can I say..You're just hot..
We horrify our spouses in public continually. It's a gift, really..

Dino barely survived...then sings I Did It My Way with Scott..The KegBee's...Separated at Birth.. Recovering today...Gwen and I laid on the floor and let the kids run a-muck.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Hockey

It's hockey night...with my canes I bought in Mexico. No wonder I'm
insane.

Hell Has Officially Frozen Over

I joined Facebook.....and I like it.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Man Cheats

Paul beat Hunter, Jake, then Mason. Kristy didn't even want to try to play him. Then came me.



I gave him a run for his money until...he sunk the 8 ball without calling the pocket...therefore I technically won because he called the pocket with the kids which means he forgot to call it with me which means I won so HE is the sore loser NOT me. I was gonna win anyway. I was sinkin those balls with my eyes closed.

The evil twins who were born 16 years apart.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Naked GI Joe Starts The Party

This morning, Hunter and I decided to leave a little present for the Jake and Mason outside the casita door.



Let the games begin.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Jake and the Meltdowns

Today was a busy day. The 3 year old decided she hadn't met her quota for her weekly meltdowns so today was her day to catch up. This was on her agenda while getting the casita ready for my son and his friends' visit on mine. The meltdowns won out.

Meltdown #1 - Apparently not opening a box of snacks in the grocery store fast enough constitutes a screaming child in the toilet paper aisle...Fannntastic.

Meltdown #2- One of my girlfriends calls to talk I'm while still grocery shopping. Mommy is now not paying full attention to the 3 year old. Nuf said.

Meltdown #3-Same 3 year old has a ONE HOUR meltdown later on at home when I wouldn't give her anything but fruit for a snack. The 14 year old finally yells at me "JUST GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS MOM!" Mom does NOT give in. That statement turns out to be the beginning of the end for the 14 year old.

Meltdown #4- I sign on to check the 14 year old's grades. Found a bad grade. I lose it. He is officially in Crap City.

Meltdown #5- I check the 14 year old's room to make sure it's clean. I make the mistake of walking into his closet. My automatic Lose My Crap button is pushed once again. He is now past Crap City and into the Diarrea Barrio.

(Internal) Meltdown #6-It hurts to walk up and down the stairs. I blame this on my spin class yesterday. Since the instructor, Andrew, knew I was in it he pushes the class to it's limit in order to punish me for some unknown offense I have done. I text him later and tell him he's a spin tyrant and that he shall be punished in his next life. He texts me back and tells me he's laughing at me. Jerkstore.

As the day goes on, my mood improves. My baby is coming to visit. Ok, so he's 19 now but still my firstborn. I can't wait to see him. Jake is definitely my child..the younger version of me except he has much more energy, even more mischevious (which my parents totally disagree with), and has the ability to make the house explode as soon as he walks in it. This should be a fun and adventurous weekend. Oh yeah, I have a couple lectures prepared for him though. He'll be thrilled, as usual.

He's here now. Well, he was..After dinner, a game of pool, some hootin and hollerin, he and friends went out to meet some of his high school buddies. Scary.

One day I'm gonna take this hat while he's sleeping and burn it.
then I'm gonna take out those lip rings..Ugh. He's too handsome for those things.
Did you see Naked G.I. Joe? That's a post all by itself.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The UnEmotional Dog

My dog has dry-eye syndrome. Severe dry-eye syndrome. Only in our household. Crap.

$400, 2 sets of drops, a pill, and a nasty eye ointment, the vet tells me this won't ever go away. We can only hope to wean her down to only the nasty eye ointment.

He then tells me that if I'm pregnant I shouldn't handle the ointment. I lose it and start laughing like a crazy woman, "Kevin, don't even mojo me like that!..haha..ha.....uh....ha..No, seriously why would you even mention that? Do I look pregnant? Haha..Why is it this all $400? Ha....uh..."

After getting a little scared and backing away from me, he said "No, no! Just a precaution we tell all of our dog owners."

Poor man.

Later on..

Me: Babe, so Daisy's eyes turned out to be severe dry-eye..Crazy..We have to do all these meds

Paul: cutting me off How much was the bill?

Me: That's nice. It was $400.

Paul: What?! So, can we just put her to sleep?

Me: WHAT?! For dry-eye? What's wrong with you?

Paul: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with YOU? $400?

Me: walking away....Like I had a choice in paying it at after we were there. Duh.

Me: turning back around Oh and by the way, I'll give her the pill but you're in charge of the drops and the eye ointment.

Paul: How did I get in charge of that?

Me: Because her eyes are so nasty. I can't deal with all that white gooey stuff, hence it is now YOUR job.

Maybe we can make a little doggie restasis commercial so we can get our vet bills back in residuals.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Huh?

I've built and managed 21 million dollar operating/capitol budgets.

I've reported directly to one of the VP's of the last company I worked at.

I graduated college with a 3.83 GPA (dumb B+ on my algebra final..grrr..ruined my 4.0 GPA)

I've bungee-jumped 18 stories.

I auditioned for a musical after not singing or acting for over 20 years and got a prinicpal part.

So why am I not able to control my little girl and her friend from
screaming those high-pitched screams that break eardrums, having a
crayon fight in my kitchen, keeping them from flooding my guest
bathroom by bathing their dollies in the sink, or streaking through
the house in their underwear...?

Monday, November 10, 2008

Insane in the Membrane

In the last 2 days, the following has occurred:

*My 3 year old threw a brown marker at my face. That crap is hard to
get off.

*Same kid chucked her sunglasses at my face while I was talking to her
at a red light. In case you didn't know, plastic bruises cheeks.

*My 19 year old peeled out of a mortuary parking lot doing 90. I hid
behind a dumpster so no one would know I was his mother.

*My 14 year old did this at a store today:

I'd claim they all got switched at birth but since they either look or act like me, I don't think anyone would buy it.

It must have been all that chinese food I ate while I was pregnant.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Robin Takes Another Dump-Part 2

Driving back home currently. Listening to one of my fave songs, Hard
To Handle, by the Black Crowes on my phone.

The funeral was sad but beautiful. My father-in-law is having a really
hard time poor guy. He was very close to his mom. Again, more on this
on a separate post. Grammie Carrie deserves her own special one.

After everything was over, we went to dinner with our friends Chuck,
Irma and their daughter Marissa at the four of ours favorite
restaraunt, Mastro's. We toasted Grammie Carrie and celebrated C & I's
anniversary. Maybe at some point I'll blog about the time we were
there when a mafia captain and his Don took me away from Paul and
planted me at their table. I'll never forget that. Good times.

Our friends and neighbors, Scott and Lindsay were in Phx this weekend as well for a wedding. She just texted me that they're finally on the road. I texted her to step on it so I can jump in their car with them.

No seriously, I did.

Use Me by Bill Withers is on now. Love it.

Pip is asleep and Hunter is hiding under his jacket playing his PSP.
I'm in the backseat relaxing. Ahhh...at least til Pip wakes up and I
have to turn High School Musical back on. Dumbest movie EVER.

I have something I'm trying not to think about AT ALL. Tough when
you're in a car doing a whole lotta nuthin. Doing well so far but soon
I'm gonna have to squeeze my eyes shut, stick my fingers in my ears
and start yelling 'Lolly Lolly Lolly get your adverbs here!' cuz that
one always works.

Lindsay and I texting back and forth playing secretaries for our
husbands. Even big boys need their playdates apparently.

One good thing about this trip is that saw my baby, Jake. Ok so he's
19 now but still. He looked so handsome...and still growing. His
girlfriend told me she applied at an Apple store. I put the pressure
on her to do nail the interview so I can use her 30% discount to get
my MacBook Air since El Cheapo informed me that a pig must fly over
our house while carrying a singing fat lady then they both must do a
triple somersault into the middle of the pool before we get a new
laptop.

Note to self- Google how to break a laptop beyond repair without it
looking like its been broken beyond repair.

Anyway I got to see my Jakey-Poo. This morning he called to tell me
that he rubbed shoulders with John McCain at church this morning. Yes
we go to the same church as he does. We have for years...at least
before we moved away from Phoenix.The boys' dad guards McCain at
church as well so Jake got to walk him to his car.

Paul just ripped one that was so bad Hunter is dying under his jacket.
And High School Musical is back on. Lucky me. It's Lolly time.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Robin Takes A BrainDump

We're road trippin today so I'm on my iPhone. It never formats
correctly to my blog so enjoy the weird spacing etc....

It's been 10 minutes and there is already bickering in the backseat.
Shoot me please.

I'm laughing now. It probably won't happen much on this trip (I HATE
road trips). Pip is telling us all in spanish "Come'!" (ko-meh) which
means eat. I dutifly bite into my egg mcmuffin minus that nasty
facsimile of ham.

I've got some unexpected inner demons to battle in my head...so I'm
gonna amuse myself now so I can ignore them and take a braindump.

Reasons You Know Your Living In Vegas:

*Your 3 year old recognizes the Stratosphere and calls it as such when
she sees it from the freeway.

*You have to walk through a casino to get to a movie theater.

*You take your family to see Madagascar 2 at the Palms casino.

*You valet at the movies.

*Your 14 year old sees Maybachs, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Aston
Martins, and a Hummer snowmobile while waiting for our car at the Palm
valet and is totally unaffected by them.

*There are slots in the grocery stores.

*Your friends know celebrities.
-2 of my girlfriends know Wayne Newton and have done some serious
specialty painting at his house. They also know Rita Rudner, Jamie
Kennedy, and Mike Tyson. Ludicrous huh? ;-)

-Our music director for the musical I'm in has worked with a lot of
old school Vegas celebrities.

-My vocal coach has toured with Johnny Cash, George Burns, Bob Hope
and many other people who are 'dead now' as she puts it. She just sang
with Jessica Simpson. That's funny.

-The director for the musical is the creative arts director at our
church but is also a well-known magician, produced a few tv shows,
made a couple of movies, etc..so it's not your typical church
performance. Remember, this is Vegas.

*You avoid the Strip like the plague unless you have visitors in
town..or when you get a babysitter then see a show or concert so your
husband & you can actually socialize without kids running around us


Man, we're only over the dam. Ugh, this trip is just beginning.

Paul and Hunter are debating which smells worse: Hunter's feet or
Paul's burrito. Threats of farting are starting. I make a mental note
of working on one myself since both of their farts are more girly than
mine. They will be punished directly (or in a few minutes).

I just let out two huge coffee burps. No one pays attention. The great
feet/burrito debate continues.

I've lost 9 pounds in a month. Probably a little to fast but I chalk
it up to lots of working out, lots of rehearsing, stress, etc.. I passed up M&Ms last night at the movies. Shockwaves are shooting through my friends, family and readers. This
just doesn't happen with Robin.

I need to pee which sucks cuz I have a whopper fart to let out.

Debating debating...better not chance it. Crap.

Paul's grandmother passed away this week hence the road trip home for
the funeral. She was an amazing woman. 89 years of greatness. More on
this in a later post.

26 miles til the bathroom Nazi lets me pee. 2 kids arguing in the
backseat. Fudgefignugen.

So now you have a small peek into how my mind works. If you think I need therapy, I take donations. Or just send me some a nice bottle of cab. Or some chocolate. Sugar free please. I'm in my skinny jeans.

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Crap..Balls..and Carol Brady I am Not

Last night I came home from rehearsal, drank a glass of wine and collapsed on the couch. Everyone was asleep. Finally I had some time alone to think..To think a lot..

This week has been nuts. Lots of kid activities, working out, vocal power building lessons, rehearsals, some drama, the f'd up election results. It's enough to drive a girl to drink..Oh yeah, that one's already covered. And it's only Wednesday.

Sitting here in my jammies, with my make up still on from last night..yawn..I bet I look fabulous..especially with my stinky breath..

Rehearsals are starting to get intense. Memorizing lines, songs, blocking..When I first auditioned, my first fear was forgetting my lines..then once I got the female lead, forgetting my solo. Next it was not laughing while staring into the eyes of my romantic counterpart while we hug, kiss or sing to each other. That's all good so far. Now it's remembering my blocking.

Last night I stumbled into a chair during rehearsal.

Craptastic.

I also practiced my solo on stage. Just me..alone..and eventually a BIG spotlight with the rest of the stage blacked out..and a high D I need to hit..The money note.

Gulp.

Don't get me wrong. I am loving this..every part of it...I'll be so sad when it's done. Just want to do be all I can be yada-yada-yada..

35 more days until the play goes up. Pray that I sing like Whitney Houston and not Cookie Monster...C is for cookie...

-------------------

Sunday night..

I'm not one of those moms who gets mad when her family plays baseball in the house. I only get ticked when I don't get my turn up to bat because I'm always the one taking pictures.

No Carol Brady here. Remember? Mom always said don't play ball in the house..

What-evah..I wouldn't want that mullety haircut anyway..Ugh.

Hell hath no fury like a wife whose lamp is knocked over.
Spanked that ball out of the park kitchen..

Monday, November 3, 2008

October in Pics - Prepare Yourself

A Halloween tip. Don't drive 45 minutes to the middle of nowhere to explore a haunted cornfield in the middle of the day. It's hot and sticky..We still had our brand of family fun though.

I ate him with some favre beans and a good bottle of chianti.
The following weekend we visited our local pumpkin patch...by the freeway...Only in Vegas.
Again, a hot day. No smiles here..


Tackling a naughty toddler who didn't want to leave.
Later that night...'decorating' Piper's pumpkins.
Halloween party at school. Piper and her 'boyfriend' Ricky Bobby.
Ricky Bobby is so proud of his Batgirl.
Hunter didn't want to dress up this year. I guess 14 year old boys are too cool to dress up anymore..Mom is sad! ;-(

Pip Batgirl was the star of the evening..


The girls came over to carve earlier in the day while the kids ran a-muck in the house.


Luv decorating for Halloween. A couple of pictures. I'd taken most everything down by this point.

I have a secret..shh!

I didn't buy ANY Halloween candy! I meant to go earlier Halloween daybut it got away from me. We went to our church Halloween bash in the early evening. I meant to pick some up on the way home but then forgot we were invited over to our friend's house to hang out over there...so we weren't even home to pass out candy! I felt soo guilty..for about 10 minutes....but now I'm glad we don't have any left over candy in the house, just Pip's.

Hanging at our homie's house. We are the ugliest bees we've ever seen:


Sad but soo true...



I'm married. I have 3 kids. I have a big nose. Now go on and catch up.

Keep it nice or I'll post your email and make fun of you.

pof5@cox.net

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