Sunday, August 24, 2008

Nirvana and Paul Anka Don't Suck..Neither Do My Farts

My husband seems to think that his farts don't stink. He's allowed to let 'em rip whenever and wherever with no repurcussion. Hunter and I however are strung up whenever we fart. Example: Tonight we went out for a walk with the dogs when Hunter pushed one out. It is well known in our family that the kid could kill a moose with how rank his toots are (personally I don't know). Since he has this insane talent to make all of his farts silent, they tend to creep up on Paul and surprise him. He gets busted pretty frequently inside the house and car, especially on road trips when we're all trapped. That's his speciality.

Tonight we're outside when Hunter let a silent but violent one. Paul makes that mushed up face and says "AW Hunter! That's disgusting!" I say, "So when is it crime to fart outside? He's not in the car or house. Don't worry about it." Paul says, "It just isn't right when he walks by me and does it." So Hunter walked by him again and let out a LOUD one this time. My kid haz skills...

Paul gets irritated. I told him to stop being so freaked out about it..then I let one go about 10 feet in front of him so he had to walk through it. He smelled it, made that disgusting face, and started in again on Hunter. I told him I did it, Hunter and I started laughing, gave each other the high five and kept walking.

Not 10 minutes before, the man was in the kitchen letting them rip and laughing about it. I've seen him do it in the dogs' faces, Hunter's face and even occasion, Pip's face. Gee, that's not messed up at all. Note: If you don't ever see another post from me, it's cuz my husband read this and buried me in the backyard. Long story short-My husband is a fart hypocrite.

Maybe I was too hard on him but it's been a long weekend. Hunter's birthday was Friday (I'd post pics but I dropped my camera and broke it..don't even get me started), then yesterday Hunter and Paul both woke up sick with fevers and Piper's allergies were flaring up. All I did yesterday was run between the three of them, taking temps, giving meds, and making soup..oh yeah, and wiping snot.

So it comes as no surprise that this morning I woke up feeling like crap while everyone else was fine. Do I get a thanks for yesterday? No. Paul and Pip jump on the bed, "Let's go to church!" I said let's not go this morning, mommy doesn't feel good. Do they care? No. Piper lays on the toddler guilt, "But Mom, I wanna go to church to learn about God."

We went. Right?

I'm so glad we went because the message was great today, however, mama still feels all ucky.

Cut to coming home, eating lunch, putting Pip down for nap, then running out with Hunter for some last minute school supplies, dinner...Yeah, I'm not tired or anything.

Now I'm sitting here watching the Olympics closing ceremony drinking vino..Not feelin it. Why are those guys beating on big cheese drums?

Oh yeah, I'm channel surfing on Sirius in the Green Monster today when I hear a song that sounds familiar. It's Paul Anka singing Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit..No way...It's awesome..Am I old? Dunno but it was cool..I'm cool.

Ok, maybe not so cool. I can't the YouTube video embedded. Here's the link. Go see Anka swing to Nirvana..then go to bed or something.


dani said...

guys are soooooooooo macho farters.
sorry you were feeling icky... hope you're better today. paul anka rocks!!!
ps have you ever been to one of his shows??? i hear they are great:)

Kelly said...

favorite line: my husband is a fart hypocrite...still giggling!

Slick said...

A fart hypocrite....

Love it, stealing it.

I'm married. I have 3 kids. I have a big nose. Now go on and catch up.

Keep it nice or I'll post your email and make fun of you.

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