My first born is 19 today. I can't believe it. Where did the time go? I know everyone says this but it really does feel like I just had him yesterday. I remember holding him for the first time, how his soft and smooth his skin felt, how fuzzy his hair was, and how big he was. He was 8 lb 15 3/4 oz. so basically he was a 9 lb baby. The biggest in the nursery. How proud we were.
I don't know why I'm struggling with this birthday as opposed to his 18th. Maybe it's because he's almost my age when I had him. Maybe it's because he's out of high school, moved out and back in Arizona (where we're from) with the rest of our family and friends so I am not with him today. Or maybe because he and his girlfriend have moved in together which has been difficult for me to wrap my head around.
I am full of so much emotion right now thinking about my boy. The rambunctious one. The mischevious one. The sly one. The I-can-fix-anything one. The one who every parent says will drive them to drink or give them gray hairs. I'd give anything to go through those days again with you, Jakey-Poo. I miss them already. I miss the day the bus driver came to the door and said you threw a roller blade wheel at the bus. I miss the day I got a call from the principal (when you were in 3rd grade) because you brought a cap gun on the bus and one of your friends took it out of your backpack and shot it. I miss the day we got the letter from Duke University asking you to test for their 7th grade identification program. I miss when you were about 11 and we used to hide under all the pillows and blankets while your little brother jumped on us. I miss our 'frogging' and 'flicking' fights. I miss your rowdy sleepover parties, going to the beach, riding all the scary rides together at Universal and Disney, bungee jumping with you..everything.
I have always told Jake that even when he is big and tall, he'll always be my baby. When he was younger, he'd always say, "Mom, I will not! I'll be too big to be your baby!" I'd always tell him, "You'll NEVER be too big for that." As a teenager, he'd just smile and rolled his eyes. Well my sweet boy, I am so right. You're still my baby and always will be. I love you..
7 hours ago