Portland/Seattle

I'm gonna make this kinda quick because I'm glued to the Olympics. I live for the Olympics!

Portland was fab..Loved the eccentric, quirky districts it had. Loved how green it was, both literally and enviromentally. I could totally grow my hair down to my butt, never wear make-up again, hug a tree and move there. Not what I expected at all but was sooo much better.

The Space Needle in Seattle was cool. For those of you who saw my twit on it's size compared to the Stratosphere, I was way off. They looked to be about the same size..I dunno. There were tons of Starbucks there (chu ching!) but did I get to go in ANY? Not until we were at the airport leaving Seattle. I was about to go into the very FIRST one EVER when we were at Pike's Market but guess-who didn't want to cross the busy street to get to it (ARG!). I didn't know at the time it was the first one. It was only later when we rode the duck boats that we found out. Yes, the hub was in the dog house at that point. Anyhoo, Seattle was cool as well.

And yes! I caught a fish at Pike's Fish Market! For any of you who have never heard of Pike's, (what planet have you been on?), this fish market is world famous. To try and catch a fish there is a must when you are a Seattle tourist. Google it if you don't believe me.

And now (insert drumroll here) for the pictures:

Remember this guy? He was dated a girl during the Real World Seattle season.

This guy stole my sunglasses off my head.

Serious concentration..Serious teeth..

Yeah baby! Caught it even with a million people flashing their cameras right in my face!

Just getting off the Duck boat in Seattle. It's a WWII amphibias boat that was used in Normandy. We went around downtown then plunged into Lake Union. Pip's quackin on her quacker.

That's it for now..Time to watch some swimming. Tomorrow is my baby's birthday. I can't believe he's going to be 19! More to come..

Viva Mexico!

I found my camera cord!

Mexico was fab as usual. We had tons of fun swimming, running around the beach, riding the banana boats and eating yummy mangos. I actually didn't take many pictures because I was in the water a lot but the ones I got were classic. I only wish our oldest Jake could come with us but alas, now he is an adult and had to work..We missed you Jakey!

If you don't know what a banana boat is, here you go:

This is off the web but is the same thing we rode. Imagine a choppy ocean, a crazy boat driver, and screaming people getting bounced off left and right. Did I mention that my son made me ride this about 4 times? and with the hub twice? and with an unusually high number of jellifish this season?

And now you may not question why I drank so many margaritas.

A not so happy jellifish victim. Yes, windex is the antiseptic of choice to kill the sting. That or vodka..NO LIE. Now I will brag about my sweet and sensitive son. After getting stung and me hauling him out of the ocean, he tells me, "See mom, I promised you that you wouldn't get stung. I am glad it was me and not you. I'd never want you to get stung."

Next, the mangos. Whenever we saw our mango dude walking, it was a mad dash down to the beach. Yummy on a stick. First, our fave beach vendor would pull out a whole fresh mango from his cooler, jab it onto a large popsicle type stick, peel it lickety split, carve the sides so it looked like a flower, then sprinkle salt, drench it with chili powder, and squeeze half of a fresh key lime over it. Voila! Hunter and I ate one every day. He had his plain with just the lime juice while I had it with everything including extra chili powder..One day I was eating mine when Hunter looked at me and said that I looked like I had just eaten someone because I had flaming red chili powder all over my mouth.

Speaking of mangos, one of the security guards yelled at me about eating my mango while sticking my feet in the pool then he kept questioning me on which condo we owned, like we didn't really own one there. My first instinct was to throw my mango at him and tell him that since our hoa fees paid his salary he should drop to his knees, rub some sunblock on my hairy back then kiss my stinky feet that we're providing his family with tortillas, frioles, and cervesa. I can say this because I'm Hispanic. But being the rational (geez, I laugh at myself sometimes) mom I am, I said "Los Cientos", which means I'm sorry, because the kids were right next to me. I often pray for forgiveness for thinking mean thoughts like these because I really do feel guilty for thinking them. I know he was just doing his job but he wasn't too friendly durn it. The hub had a hysterical stare down with him later though which made me laugh. My man always has my back ;-)

One night we were at our favorite restaraunt, The Friendly Dolphin, and saw our fave singer..I always forget his name but he is a great singer/guitar player and is able to wiggle his cowboy hat up and down with his ears. The hub and Pip are obsessed with him.

One night we took a pirate ship cruise. Pip and I were in separate dance contests. Here's her video. You will NEVER see mine. I will now brag about my daughter. Even if the boat was rocking, she still stayed on her feet and shook her little booty. That's my girl!!!

Can't forget watching the 4th of July fireworks on the beach. Yes, they acknowledge our holiday because it draws tourists down. Hunter caught the fireworks behind us..Good job Sweets!

We got to hang out with my father-in-law for part of our trip which is always fun.

We also ran into our friends The Michels and hung out with them for a bit. We don't get to see them often so it's always a great time.

We also had time to visit our family and friends in Arizona before we came home.

Now to bore you with even more pictures!

I Didn't Do It..

Warning - Long bitchy post about to ensue. Grab a drink, some popcorn and settle in.

I'm still trying to recover from our trip. The un-packing and laundry is done, I just did the grocery shopping, and I'm fielding my way through voice/e-mails. So why do I still feel totally discombobulated? Because I arrived home from our vacation to find myself locked out of my desktop PC (otherwise known as my 2nd husband/love/soulmate). THERE IS A PASSWORD ON IT. I didn't leave one on it when we left but lo and behold there it was. At first I thought I just forgot I did it and typed in my normal password but it didn't work. Hmm. Tried another one. No. Another one. No. And another. No. My heart started to pound and I felt myself breaking out into a light sweat (I am NOT lying). Ok, calm down..I go through my entire repoitoire of passwords, nothing. I ask the hub if he put a password on. He says no which I believe because he is rarely on that computer which is good because that would be kinda gay because that would mean both my husbands would be...never mind, i have a sick mind no matter what kind of state I'm in.

Long story short, I yell F**K !! then try every password I've ever used EVER. NOTHING. So now, after googling my brains out, I am in the process of hacking in. Supposedly I am not the only num-nut who forgot her password EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T SET ONE UP so it's somewhat common to be able to hack in and change it. My biggest concern is losing my data. It's not supposed to happen but because I am me, it probably will. Everything is backed up except for the last 3 months of pictures which, of course, is the only thing I'm worried about losing.

So here I am sitting at my laptop in the kitchen instead of continuing my sordid love affair with my desktop back in my studio (I think from now on I'll call it my lair). Even more reasons why this pisses me off:

• I can't download our Mexico pics from my camera.
• I can't find my camera cord to hook it up to my laptop to at least get some pics on my blog (my stupid laptop doesn't accept my memory card).
• I need to scan a few things and email them which I can't do from the laptop.
• I use Outlook Express so for now I have to actually log into Cox and use their horrendously slow, antiquated and pointless webmail. Hence for those of you who I haven't replied to your emails, now you know why.
• The U key is sticking on this mo-fo laptop.
• Who the hell did it? The dog sitters? Why? It had to have been them.

I am a little scared actually because maybe I did do it and can't remember? I know I have the memory of a gnat but not when it comes to my pc. I would have totally remembered. I never think of off the wall passwords at the last minute cuz I know I'd forget them, hence the repoirtoire...I don't believe there is even a minute chance..but maybe? NO! I KNOW I DIDN'T!!

Are these the end of my woes? No. We come home to find out street chip sealed, slurried, or whatever the heck it's called. Someone, probably the dog sitters, drove in our driveway soon after it was done and smeared that shit all over it. The hub tried everything to get it off but it won't. That crap is burned on there. Since our driveway is stamped and stained, the stain will need to be stripped, re-done and re-sealed. Now he's really pissed so I can't freak out anymore about my pc. I have now been assigned of investigating, stalking, and demanding payment from whomever did it. Yes, we know it was YOU dog-sitters (who are licensed & bonded, and yes I will throw that contract stating that they are not liable for any damage they cause in our home in their faces). You are now on the chopping block since I know darn well the city won't fix it. Your arses are mine.

Not that I don't have tons of other calls to return or anything. Now I'll have to battle YOU, dumb dog-sitters.

Anyway, hopefully I'll find my camera cord soon so I can actually blog a little about Mexico. Wish I was there now on the beach with a marg in one hand and a mango in the other..

Back to Reality

We're back. Mexico was so relaxing, it's soo hard to leave. Visiting our family and friends in Arizona was fun too but I'm already homesick for the beach. That song by Eminem, Back to Reality, has been playing in my head all weekend (which sucks because he is such a dweeb), blah. ;-)

Thanks to my wonderful guest bloggers, Keith, Jill, Dani, and Kari. I totally dug all of your posts..

To my big bro: Reading about Lily made me sad..I remember how the boys would chase both Theo and Lily around the house which was soo funny..Imagine two three-legged cats sliding around corners to get away from two crazy boys. I miss Theo too since we only got to see Lily when he was alive. Now she runs from us like the plague when we visit. Your post about your musical tastes made me laugh. I'm always so confused when I draw your name at Christmas and I read your list of CD's I've never heard of, hahaha! You've opened my eyes to some great bands over the years (even if you ARE adopted..)

Jill: That is SO crazy that people actualy save money to buy clothes to come here! So THOSE are the gals I see walking up/down the strip or in casinos in their stilletos, glitter, and gold lame IN TOTAL PAIN (and looking pretty ridiculous). Seriously, was the last thing they saw on tv that show from the 70's called Vegas (go Dan Tana, I loved him)! I love being comfy in my shorts and flip flops when we go on the obligatory visit to the Strip with our out of town visitors. I will admit I do like dressing up when the hub and I go see a show but it's more White House/Black Market apparel than Hookers R Us hoochie-mama clothing. It's true also that people think that if you live in Vegas that you literally live either next to, in, or behind a casino. Like Vegas is all of 5 square miles. "Wow, you mean that you have schools AND a grocery store?" "Yes, moron and we can valet at the mall too."

Dani - I can totally picture you pool bar diving at the Moon Palace. I'd be right there beside you girlie probably making the conversations even more confusing. What a great story about your great aunt riding with Capone. You should write a post about it! I think our grandmother was almost kidnapped by Poncho Via but I need to check on the details with my mom. Next time you guys plan a Cancun trip, lemme know! :-)

Kari - Girl, what can I say? I luv ya! I don't understand why you don't feel worthy to own and operate Retro? You are my cupcake hero, chicka. I've never known anyone who has run a bakery and am always totally impressed when I come in. Oh and the cupcakes today were soooo yummy. Everyone go to Retro's blog to see the cupcake painting that my soul sista Erin's daughter painted. TOTALLY COOL !!!!! Pip was bummed she couldn't hang out with the Lucy Girl..Darn you, let me take her for a couple hours next week so she can get out of the bakery! Viva La Retro!

After unpacking, laundry, swimming and other random household stuff, I am too tired to blog more about our Mexico trip. I'll bore y'all with our pics tomorrow..Mommy out.

Cancun - Days 5 and 6

Our last two days we just relaxed by the pool and shopped a little bit. The Lakers/Celtic game was on one night so we went to the hotel sports bar to watch it. Funny thing that happened: The 'same kid' who told me the other night that I was too hot for the hub (rolling my eyes) was at the sports bar. As everyone was leaving, he caught Paul's eye and shot him a quick wave then looked at me, shot me the 2 thumbs up then gave me a big wink. It seemed to dawn on him immediately that it came across as strange because he said, "Oh sh*&, I can't believe I just winked at my boss's boss's boss's boss's wife."

On our last night, we had the closing dinner then Paul, myself and some friends went over to a fun restaurant/piano bar called Carlos N Charlies..

Stressed over a text I received from my son's girlfriend.

In the lobby bar after dinner. At Carlos N Charlies. We had glitter on us for days..

Trip over. Flying home was uneventful except that we almost got in an accident pulling out of the hotel parking lot on our way to the airport. Our driver just about t-boned a tiny car. We had about 50 people on this tour bus and Paul and I are in the front seat. I saw the car coming before the driver and as he pulled out in front of it, I yelled** (involuntarily), "HOLY SH*# !!" while the guy across the aisle from us yelled something very similiar. The entire bus got quiet wondering who was yelling up front, then the bus driver slammed on the brakes as everyone yelled and lurched forward.

Ok, Cancun updates are done. No one is more happy than I.

** Reading over these posts, it sounds like I have a potty mouth. Hmmm..Not much anymore, except apparently in Cancun.

Cancun - Day 4

Chichen Itza

We went to a Mayan ruin called Chichen Itza (rhymes with chicken pizza) about 2.5 hours south of Cancun. This place was full of history and was probably the highlight of our trip. Funny things that happened:

*I packed no real walking shoes so I tripped and stumbled most of the day while walking down the ancient paths
*A Mayan man kissed me after we bought a trinket from him. I spent the rest of the afternoon telling the hub, "I kissed a Mayan."

I am a huge history fan so this place was such a treat. I knew that'd we see a Mayan pyramid but had no idea that we'd tour a ball court, one of the Mayan sinkholes, an observatory, and meet a myriad of Mayan people selling their wares.

Ok Glossy, I totally get how you fainted. The heat was almost unbearable. In your honor, I picked a tree and stood under it imagining how it would feel to have gravel buried in my elbows.

At one point, we're listening to our guide then all of a sudden, BBRRIINGG!!!!!BBBBRRRRIIIINGGGGGGGG!!! BBRRIINGGG!!!! My cell phone is ringing. A couple of sh*#ts later I find it and run away from the group to answer thinking it was my mom who was at our house watching the kids. No. It is our friend and realtor from Tulsa, Debbie.

Me: Sh*# Sh*# Sh*#..Whispering Hello?
Debbie: Hey girl!!! How are ya! I have news! You're never going to believe this, I bought a hotel in Colorado and moving there soon! It's so cool, it's in blah blah blah blah blah blah..."
Me: Whispering...Uh Deb..
Debbie: I'm so excited! I can't wait to move there, blah blah blah blah. So what are you doing?
Me: Whispering...I'm standing in a Mayan jungle in Cancun.
Debbie: WHAT THE HELL!?!? OH CRAP, CALL ME LATER!!!
Me: Ok, congrats on the hotel.

I stand there, wipe sweat off my face and turn around to see the hubby glaring at me. It would have been funny normally but since there's about 20 people in our tour group, I just glare back and re-join the group. Note to self: Call Deb back. I am genuinely excited for her. If you ever move to Tulsa, she's your gal.

Anyway, after the tour, we're taken to lunch in the middle of this small Mayan village. Local dancers entertain us while we eat. We then travel to a Mayan sinkhole that they used to swim in. We kicked ourselves for not bringing our suits but here are some pics of people jumping in. It was too cool.

The entire day was a lot of fun. Would definitely recommend it.

EL PRESIDENTE

After we get back, we shower, eat then hangout in the lobby bar for a bit. This is where the night started. So you have to understand that the employees who won these trips are always very grateful that the company pays for everything. How they show it is by continually coming up to Paul throughout the trip and thanking him. Not a problem. The funny thing is when they start drinking. The majority of the employees are young kids in their 20's.

Cut to the lobby bar: Paul, me, Angela (one of Paul's direct reports) and her hubby Randy are having fun watching all the kids dance to the salsa band. Over and over again, many people come thank Paul, joke with him and chat a bit. As the night goes on, the traffic increases. Finally at one point, this woman (who is not with the company and just vacationing with her hubby) comes up to me and says, "Excuse me, I can't help but notice all of the people coming up and shaking the man's hand who is sitting next to you. May I ask who he is?"

Anyone who knows me knows I will do one of two things. Completely mess with her or just tell her the truth. Since I have to be the corporate wife, I choose the latter. I explain about the hub and the company trip, commend her for her nosiness because I would totally do the same thing, she laughs and goes back to tell her husband. From that moment on, the hubby is now El Presidente. A lot of hooting and hollering plus major AHAHAHAHAHA'S! ensue. We tease the hub that he's 'holding court'. This leads to us dancing then Paul playing the bongos with one of the account managers. Long story short, lots of fun. Hilarious things that happen:

*A young kid full of beer tries to teach us to blow out a conch shell
*Same kid introduces his friend to Paul as his 'boss's boss's boss's boss'
*Same kid tells me "You're too hot for him" while pointing at the hub
*Same kid (when Paul is playing the bongos) says to us all "Do you think Paul likes me?" He is kind of teetering as he asks this.

Here's the kid (on the left) coaching us

Coaching Angela

El Presidente

Later we eat then the hub and I (in total teenager mode) go to a bar called CoCo Bongo. All I can say is CRAZY and totally against fire code. If there was ever a fire, no one would be able to get out. The coolest thing was that there are different dance shows going on throughout the night on the ceiling. Some highlights:

Why is my finger in his ear..

Cancun Update - Day 3

The Annoying Drunk Woman

The hub gets out of bed dancing. We stay out at the pool all day and relax. You don't realize how many mudslides you drink because they go down wwaayy to easy and are free. Lots of water volleyball, more mudslides, and tons of sunscreen.

We eat dinner at this fabulous steakhouse in the hotel (and no I didn't eat meat, just yummy shrimp). It was AMAZING then take a cab to Pat O'Briens. We were a little early which was fine cuz we were able to find two good seats at the bar and we just start hanging out watching everyone. We see this lady in her 40's hanging out at the bar by herself getting shots from the tequila girl. At first glance, she's well dressed and a pretty gal. Cut to about an hour later - She is drunk out of her mind and has about 5 empty shot glasses and 6 empty beer mugs in front of her. This woman invented the term SLOPPY DRUNK. Things she did:

*Tried to make out with the tequila shot girl
*Got up on stage with a couple who were singing karoake together and got right in their faces while they were trying to sing (the waiters finally pulled her off the stage)
*Tried to do the electric slide but couldn't..but still did..while she staggered and stumbled
*Got in a conga line with a stupid sombrero hat then suddenly pulled a much younger guy towards her as he was walking and started kissing him

She continues to kiss him and you could tell he thought about it for a second then said "what the hell" and started kissing her back. Within a couple minutes though he realized was a mess she was and escaped back to his table where his buddies were (while they were laughing the entire time). The hub said the guys were starting to give him the 'buddy look'..Of course, she didn't even notice he was gone and probably forgot instantly she molested him on the dance floor.

Of course, we're both laughing hysterically at this point. By the time we compose ourselves, she's disappeared. I predict throwing up in the bathroom, the hub says something about a back alley. We leave and walk next door to Margaritaville.

We're at the bar again having fun when I look on the dance floor and....THERE SHE IS AGAIN dancing and grinding with one of the waiters. After I yell to the hub, "YOU'RE KIDDING ME, LOOK!" he turns around and starts laughing. Dumb things she did there:

*Dance on stage with girls half her age (she has NO RHYTHM whatsoever)
*Stays on stage by herself, lays on her back, keeps pumping her pelvis up. She's wearing someone's red visor at this point
*Keeps pulling down the cap sleeves on her little black dress to expose her shoulders but the sleeves keep coming back up
*STAYS on stage AND continues to dance in front of the now brought down movie screen showing Madonna's Like A Virgin video. I have tears in my eyes at the point laughing at the irony of this scene. Again, waiters eventually drag her off
*Tries continually to convince the bartender to hold her purse behind the bar but he won't do it
*Jumps from group to group of young kids butting in on their fun thinking she is just as young as they are

Paul thinks she is an ugly high paid hooker. I think she's a realtor who's lonely and looking for love in all the wrong places.

If this isn't enough, some very drunk tall young blonde starts motioning to either me or Paul, we're not sure which. I quickly realize that she's motioning to Paul but when I catch her eye and give her the EVEN-THOUGH-WE-CAN'T-GET-IN-TROUBLE-SINCE-WE'RE-HERE-(SOMEWHAT)-ON-BUSINESS- I- WILL-STILL-DECK-YOU-DRAG-YOU-OUTSIDE-AND-ROLL-YOU-IN-THE PARKING-LOT-THEN-DENY-I-DID-IT look. She gets the hint, makes the cutting motion under her neck then stumbles into some scary guy that looks like a wannabe Jack Black. Use your imagination from there.

Can you tell I've had too much to drink at this point? For me that equals about 2 margaritas. Apparently I didn't get the memo because we went to the Hard Rock next and caught the last set of the incredible band. All of sudden, we realize we're old again and need to go home. Back to the hotel we go.

Cancun- 2nd Day

Leonard, Dee and Me on the Island of Women

It's check in day for the employees so I decide to go to Isla Mujeres to shop. This is a small island about 25 minutes off the coast by ferry. I'm ferry-bound to the island trying not to throw up (i always get seasick, it's so annoying) when I start talking to another couple on the boat. We hit it off and they offer to share their golf cart rental with me so we can explore the island.

Me on the back of the golf cart Me getting nervous about that taxi zooming up on us.

After 2 hours of driving at 5 miles an hour around the island and finally introducing ourselves officially (haha!) we decide to shop. This couple, Dee and Leonard, are fabulous and lots of fun. After we figure out where the golf cart rental is, which was quite the adventure on tons of one way streets, we shop, talk, shop more and just wander around and have fun until we take the ferry back. I'm fighting the vomit monster again while pretending I'm fine. Leonard offers to switch seats with me since he's by a window but if I move I'll loose it so I keep pretending I'm fine.

We share a taxi, I drop them off at their hotel, big hugs, exchanging email addresses, etc and I'm off. They were a blast and made my day trip even more fun. Ok Leonard and Dee, if you're reading this, I expect a comment from you (I gave them the low-down on blogs and warned them I'd be writing about them).

Back at the hotel - I rush to shower and change for the welcome dinner. All the employees have been checked in and the hubby is back up in the room getting ready. Some pics of him welcoming everyone at the welcome dinner. I'm sitting there smiling but all I could think of was how hot he looked.

The hub welcoming the crowd.

The crowd and our first of many fabulous sunsets of the week.

After dinner everyone scatters and the hubby and I go to Senor Frogs and dance, drink margaritas and have fun. At least we had fun until the dj asked if the class of 2008 (it was Grad Week which is another manufactured Cancun holiday to get kids down there to spend spend spend) was having fun. Paul and I look at each other and both immediately calculate how many years it's been since we graduated high school, 21 for me, 30 for him. I realize that the kids dancing around us are about our oldest son's age (18), then see some chaperones hanging in the back who look to be OUR age. We decide it's time to go. That's the fun thing about the hubby and me. We still think we're teenagers....no seriously, sometimes we do.



Back to the hotel. It's been a long day and we're beat.