Monday, October 20, 2008

Go And Take A Nice Pee Robin..

There is one July 4th in my life that stands out above all others. It was the summer going into my senior year.

I was with my friends, Craig and Khrista. We started out at Craig's house doing, of all things, playing with a ouija board. Ugh. After that we played truth or dare. I admitted to peeing in the shower..Oh don't go all high and mighty on me. You know you've done it.

When it got late enough, we snuck onto this cool golf course that looked out over the city. Awesome. There we were in the dark watching fireworks over the city. Too cool. We did a bunch of other stupid stuff that night which is what actually made it one of the best 4th of Julys ever (that info will never reach the virtual pages of this blog) but I will stick to the point of my story..

As the night was winding down, Craig was driving back to his house so Khrista and I could grab our cars and head home. On the way I decided that I really really really had to pee. I begged Craig to stop somewhere so I could go. Being the freak that he was, he pulled into a mortuary parking lot and told me to go behind the dumpster.

Pissed as I was..haha, pun intended!...I climbed out of his car and ran behind the dumpster. Have I mentioned that I had (and still have) legs of steel? Most women girls squat and pee at some point in their lives when they are faced with a situation in which there is no bathroom available but more often than not, it doesn't work out well. Weak legs, no toilet paper, pee on their ankles. It's not pretty. Me? I am was a pro at it. Nary a drop on me. Some people pack heat, I packed strong legs and toilet paper.

I do my business and saunter back to the car. As I near, I see my friends laughing hysterically. Craig has tears running down his face. Huh? Waa?

I climb back in..What are you doofs laughing at, I ask.

"You..HAHAHAHAHA...lights...HAHAHAHAHA..shadow!...BAHAHAHAHA..peed!"

HUH?!?!

Craig kept his headlights on while I was piddling...and angled the car just right...

SO HE COULD CAST MY SQUATTING-BENT-OVER-PEEING-AND-WIPING-MY-BUTT SHADOW ON THE WALL BEHIND THE DUMPSTER...

Some things from high school you forget over the years. Other things?

Stay ingrained in your head FOREVER. Especially when the mortuary is near your childhood home and you drive by it every time you go home to visit.

I cannot think of that memory without laughing or smirking.

I wonder if I was the final memory of the newly departed in that mortuary..

5 comments:

Swirl Girl said...

Once, on the way to a concert - I had to pee something fierce and we were stuck in traffic on the highway. I had the brilliant idea that I could get out, run up to an exit sign, squat down behind it and pee so my friends couldn't see me. Well, they couldn't - but the entire line of cars BEHIND us could!! Duh - they didn't call it the Doobie Brothers for nothing!

dani said...

i had a friend who had to pee so bad but was stuck in hurricane evacuation traffic. she took out one of her baby's pampers and relieved herself right there in the comfort and privacy (ha, NOT!!!) of her car!!!
l,
d

Jenny said...

Hahaha!!! That is awesome, such a boy thing to do. I love that you still pass by it and think of that moment.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Great story!! lol

Sammanthia said...

That. Was. Hilarious. I love your friends, and that sounds like a prank I would have pulled... only I would have remembered my camera.


I'm married. I have 3 kids. I have a big nose. Now go on and catch up.

Keep it nice or I'll post your email and make fun of you.

pof5@cox.net

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