The Facebook Affair...

I am obsessed with Facebook. These updates seemed funny at the time. Hmmm. Now, not so much.

If you are OCD, start from the bottom and scroll up to view chronologically. I'll forgive you.
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Robin is finally going to sit down and lose myself in uh....Lost. 9:45pm - Comment

Robin just watched her daughter drive her barbie jeep down the street while listening to Sexyback and shaking her head. We are in trouble... 2:23pm - Comment

Robin is singing..and no, not in the shower. 9:18pm - Comment

Robin just had her foot run over by a barbie jeep accelerating up a curb while wearing sandals..Advil, wine and meds are now necessary. 6:47pm - Comment

Robin is recovered. 8:36am - Comment

Robin is disappointed but the Card still played a great game and our party was rockin. 9:34pm - Comment

Robin is yawning... 6:39am - Comment

Robin and Paul's number of superbowl guests has tripled in the last 24 hours...Time to triple the guac and spanish rice receipes..Go Cards! 9:26pm - Comment

Robin realizes she can no longer put off answering all the tags she's getting for 'My 25 Things' and will have to answer them...but can I keep it to just 25? 10:04pm - Comment

Robin enjoys when her dad-in-law comes to visit...even though she's iPhone-less..and still in mourning.. 6:09pm - Comment

Robin is thinking of starting a group called 'People Who Have Had Their iPhones Cruelly Ripped Out Of Their Lives." 8:23pm - Comment

Robin is going to go all girl carpenter today... 11:40am - Comment

Robin is getting ready to go to high school orientation with Hunter. Off the 9th grade for child #2 in the fall...I still can't believe it. 5:05pm - Comment

Robin has her headset on listening to amazing music. 10:52pm - Comment

Robin just ate some yummy pad thai... 1:34pm - Comment

Robin is in shock that someone found my phone and won't give it back..Who would do this? 9:13pm

Robin is still mourning the loss of her iPhone..

Robin and family had a great day boarding but I lost my iPhone in the snow (when I caught an edge and bit it) so now my night sucks. 5:43pm - Comment -

Robin is going snowboarding!! 7:14am - Comment -

Robin is very mad at herself. Feel free to join in. 11:55am - Comment

Robin just remembered that Scott loves cab drivers but has no money. 10:11am - Comment

Robin just remembered that Scott fell last night. 9:44am - Comment

Robin is thinking that Scott's hair smells like my feet...Where's my camera!!!! 9:36am - Comment

Robin is going to Rock N Roll Wine at the Luxor! 6:33pm - Comment

Robin is the play-doh queen. 9:08pm - Comment

Robin is bummed because my 1st recording studio session ever had to be postponed til next week. Need chocolate.

Robin had a great night at church and is now about to watch LOST! 9:08pm - Comment

Robin is getting ready for church then going to race home and watch LOST! 5:39pm - Comment

Robin is going to exercise her vocal chords this morning..Lost starts tonight, YAHOO!!!! 7:27am - Comment

Robin is laughing at Paul trying to update his facebook status.. 9:49pm - Comment

Robin is racing my hubby to get to the laptop first..I won! 9:31pm - Comment

Robin has accidentally traumatized her son for life...Ugh! - Comment

Robin just got back from a fun day of shopping with the kids..Yes, I did say fun and kids in the same sentence.. 6:00pm - Comment

Robin is highly amused. 9:17pm - Comment

Robin is shocked/happy that the Cards won! GO CARDS! 3:50pm - Comment

Robin is also hootin and hollerin for the Cards! 2:15pm - Comment

Robin is getting ready for church then coming home to watch the Cards...Go Cards! 7:29am - Comment

Robin is many things... 7:30pm - Comment

Robin saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button last night. Phenomenal ! 9:38am - Comment -

Robin is bored with her iPhone web apps. Need new fun and interesting ones.. Suggestions? 11:49am - Comment

Robin is full of glitter making my grocery list. 9:43am - Comment

Robin is SO OVER THESE DOGS!!! More pee and poop presents for me! What is going on with them?! 7:53am - Comment

Robin is giggling... 11:27pm - Comment

Robin just tripped on a hanger, broke it, then scraped her heel on it. Her husband laughed. 11:12pm - Comment

Robin finally got all the Christmas decorations put away...whew.. 9:46pm - Comment

Robin is SO over owning a possessed Beagle... 6:44am - Comment -

Robin is chillin with her hubby and a glass of wine pretending I'm interested in Sportscenter. 10:44pm - Comment

Robin 's anti-virus software is punishing me for some unknown karmic reason. 8:22am - Comment

Robin has had 3 different people call me today to b.s. while on their breaks..Apparently, I am lunch fodder... 3:16pm - Comment

Robin is awake!!! 7:20am - Comment

Robin is at Hunter's choir concert marveling how handsome my child is... 6:56pm - Comment

Robin is eating lunch. very exciting... 12:47pm - Comment

Robin : found dog, ballet shoes on the ballerina, running out to the Green Monster to roll to dance...need a nap now.. 10:44am - Comment

Robin is trying to find her nightmare of a dog somewhere... 10:31am - Comment

Robin is trying to get her little ballerina ready for dance. It's not going well... 9:36am - Comment

Robin is yawning. 8:24am - Comment

Robin is chillin in my fave ASU jammies looking at Hong Kong and Paris trip pictures... 12:50am - Comment

Robin is shocked Mickey Rourke won best actor on the Golden Globes..What's next? William Hung winning a Grammy? 11:50pm - Comment

Robin is in her jammies wishing she could wear her jammies 24/7... 6:42pm - Comment

Robin just let her dogs out to pee...then crawling back in bed.. 6:54am - Comment

Robin has witnessed hell freezing over..The Cards won... 10:33pm - Comment

Robin is getting ready to cook for an obnoxious group of Cardinal fans... 3:32pm - Comment -

Robin is hungry for some M&Ms but will go to bed instead...Durn it.. 1:31am - Comment

Robin just got done watching Ironman with her son..and finished knitting a scarf... 12:28am -

Robin and her kids are playing glow in the dark remote control cars. Awesome... 9:03pm -

Robin is wiping off the snotrocket her hubby just left on her face. 8:36pm - Comment

Robin is just woke from a nap to find my dog deep in the garbage chowing old spaghetti...anyone want a dog? 4:25pm - Comment

Robin is keeps remembering more and more things I need to do today..Dang it! 8:26am - Comment

Robin is listening to our dog snore like a man.. 11:20pm - Comment

Robin is happy that the Gators won even though they beat one of my other fave teams, OU! Go Orange and Blue! WooHoo! 9:45pm - Comment

Robin just watched a very depressing movie, ugh. Bedtime... 11:39pm - Comment

Robin just got home from church..Relaxing with my hubby.. 9:16pm - Comment

Robin has come to the conclusion that moon sand sucks and will forever be banned from our household... 2:06pm - Comment

Robin is still in my jammies playing bendaroos with Piper.. 11:14am

Robin just added 60 pics of our Xmas trip. Stop by and look if you're bored... 9:14am - Comment

Robin is in shock that my dog (who is completely housebroken) just walked in the family room, stared at me then pee'd all over the rug...Anyone want a beagle? 8:08am - Comment

Robin is looking at pictures of my friend Andrea's home in Utila and lovin it. The island life is SO my dream! 2:12pm - Comment

Robin is showing the hubby my Facebook page. Think I have him convinced to join.. 10:15pm - Comment

Robin is preparing for another day of unpacking from our trip. I miss you Mexico..oh yeah, Phoenix too..a little.... 10:05pm - Comment

Robin is unpacking, doing laundry, making a grocery list..nothing fun! 8:41am - Comment

Robin is chillin in Mexico... 10:02am - Comment

Robin is goin after Xmas shopping..Shh! Don't tell the hubby! 12:42pm - Comment

Robin is goin to bed. 12:06am - Comment

Robin is listening to my son fart next to me..Gross. 11:00pm - Comment

Robin is watching tv instead of folding clothes and wrapping presents.. 10:56pm - Comment

Robin is at the vet cursing internally. 1:42pm - Comment

Robin is going to bed..Night night. 12:27am - Comment

Robin is tired, exhausted and hungry once again...! 12:22am - Comment

Robin is starving at rehearsal.,,. 10:00pm - Comment

Robin is happy Thanksgiving was fun but glad it's over.... 10:19pm - Comment

Robin is cooking, baking, and more cooking!!! 11:16am - Comment

Robin apparently has no idea what she's doing on Facebook 9:26pm - Comment

Adult Diapers Suck Brick....

I'm sitting here reading a couple of my favorite blogs, listening to a song that has no business making me tear up but is, drinking wine, and wondering why I cannot seem to straighten out my dazed and confused state of mind that decided to invite itself to my head on January 1 of this year. Since I can't figure it out, here are my un-educated guesses. My brain, apparently, is writing checks my brain can't cash.

1) My brain is expanding exponentially. Although I have an unusually large head for someone my size, my brain doesn't know that, so it's squeezing all the intelligence out of me and keeping just the fat stored up...just like every other part of my body. Fudge.

2) I have this unusual talent of attracting every joe smoe and their mother to confide in me about their personal problems. In years past, I could listen AND give great advice while mentally writing a to-list, solving every side of a rubik's cube, and splitting the atom. Now? Anything pertinent that I need to do leaks out every upper body orifice so I can have enough brain cells to listen, blink, nod a few times then give some sort of acknowledgement that sounds intelligent and non-cavewoman like. The end result is nothing in my life gets done and I want a snack.

3) Wine. It may be good for my heart but it's still an evil evil monkey.

4) Facebook is a close 2nd to #3...minus the monkey part...add in a nosy, vicious pitbull instead.

5) My gray hairs that are suddenly showing up suck. I am in a mental battle with my scalp right now to stop it's evil-doing. This is sucking any extra intelligence out of me thus me regressing to about a 17 year old maturity level. Seriously. Example-I forced my husband to pull over the other night so I could ding-dong ditch our friend's house. I made Hunter go with me..then we whispered (argued) loudly at the door over who was gonna get to ring the doorbell. When we got home our phone was ringing. It was their 10 year old daughter. When accused, I lied. No one said I couldn't lie to OTHER peoples' kids. All this in front of my visiting father-in-law.

6) I'm turning 40 this year. My brain is giving me a taste of the diminished functionality to come...in addition to the eventual drooling, diapers, and asking each of my children who the they are and why they're in my house. This is what I have to look forward to. THAT, gray hair, and messing my pants. fabulous.

7) I have no cell phone. Let me rephrase that. I have NO iPHONE. I've been begging him to come back to me. Promises to clean his face more often and put his annoying gel cover back on are unanswered. He now resides in Pahrump, NV with some guy who stole him from me while I was face-first in the snow cursing myself for wiping out on a simple run. This has put me into a downward spiral that is un-ending. Plus I have been banned from getting a new one..I think the cold and unfeeling "Good luck with your new Motorola Razor" from Paul was what threw me over the edge. My heart continues to break..The downward spiraling continues.

I just hope #6 happens to me before the husband because even though I said 'for better or for worse' I doubt changing an adult diaper was in the original job description. Sorry you iPhone hater babe, you're on your own. I'll hire you a hot nurse, k?

SuperBowl Cleaning

How I used to clean for a party:

1)Send out cool evites
2)Clean all the bathrooms
3)Vaccuum
4)Clean off all the counters
5)Freak out wanting everything to be perfect
6)Set up a really nice buffett
7)Shower, do hair and make-up, wear deodorant, brush teeth
8)Cook like mad
9)Set out wine, make margaritas
10)Get really grumpy with my family that they are not helping me enough or not doing whatever I ask them to do correctly
11) Freak out wanting everything to be perfect

How I NOW clean for a party:

1) Call, email, or Facebook invites to friends
2) Continue to invite people throughout the week who I forgot to invite earlier because I didn't make a list
3)Hire my girlfriend's maid to come in during the week and clean the house
4)Wipe down the guest bathroom the day of the party then ban my family from using it til after the party
5)Order pizza instead of cooking
6) Buy tons of beer at Sam's Club and delegate the margarita making to the hubby.
7) Clean off counters for the pizza boxes
8) Have an internal shower debate depending on what kind of party* we're throwing
9) Debate wearing make-up** or hiding under at hat
10) Wear deodorant, brush teeth
11) Don't freak out at all because I could really give a poopie what the house looks like

*Even though it's a SuperBowl party today, our guests will be happy to know I will be showering since we have church this morning.
** Make-up is coming off after church because Robin's face will be painted Cardinals Red for the game.
*** For the record, this is a Cardinals household HOWEVER I have always hated the Cards. It's only since they started winning that I've warmed to them..Can I say Fair Weather Fan? Yes, I can.... shh, keep that from the man or else I'll be sleeping with the dogs again.

PS. I still have no freakin iPhone so our guests will be lucky to get a little more than a fistful of bread and a hunk of Velveeta. Go Cards.