Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A Letter to A Dumb Security Guard

Dear Neighborhood Security Guard,

Please pull out your handbook on how to be a chilvarious security guard or better yet, a smart one. I'm sure this handbook was included in your new hire materials when you were hired to drive around and pretend to guard our gated community.

On page 1 of your handbook it clearly states:

If you see a woman sprinting down the street chasing her dog, HELP her.

So why dear security guard, did you drive up and ask me if I needed help when obviously you weren't planning to help at all? Asking me if that is my dog and why isn't she leashed isn't helping when I'm breathless, I have a teenager and toddler running behind me yelling, and my other dog is trying to yank me forward practically off my feet from his leash. Use your brain man.

I've seen your peers help other catch their dogs. I've even seen them chase down strays , throw them in the security truck, take them to the guard gate and call the pound.

I asked a simple question of you. "Will you open your passenger side door and just call for her? She loves car rides and will jump right in." Instead you say something unintellligible and drive off, leaving me standing there in this chaos while my dog continues to run. Waa? Huh?

My son took over the chase and eventually caught the dog several blocks down, along with the help of friendly neighbor who drove ahead of Hunter and cut Daisy off before she could cross the street.

Shouldn't YOU have done this since you saw me running in horror as my dog ran near the main street in our neighborhood? You know..The one where all the cars drive up and down when leaving/entering our community? The one YOU drive on..

I guess you didn't help because it was my son's fault for Daisy getting loose by not putting her collar on tight enough. Or maybe you didn't help because our HOA rules say dogs must be leashed at all times when outside in the public areas and mine obviously wasn't. Doi. She was leashed but escaped...or did you not figure that out even though I was holding her collar/leash in my empty hand?

If I ever see your dog/cat/ferrett/mouse/snake or whatever pet you may own loose on the street, I'm gonna take it to the pound and leave it's poop on your doorstep.

Sincerely Yours,
A resident whose HOA fees help pay your salary. Glad to know it's money well spent.

5 comments:

ImNoBetterThanU said...

It is kind of sad that no one wants to go above and beyond anymore at their jobs. Even worse (as shown in your example)employers do not even hold employees up to regular standards so often times even showing up to work IS going above and beyond.

Oh I give up. I am glad you finally got your dog. No thanks to your employee.

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

I'm glad the dog was caught. What a doofus "security" guard!

Weith Kick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Weith Kick said...

Why you so angry all the time? Just kidding. How come you have written about getting the lead in the school play.

scargosun said...

PLEASE tell me you called the security company! That was just SO wrong.


I'm married. I have 3 kids. I have a big nose. Now go on and catch up.

Keep it nice or I'll post your email and make fun of you.

pof5@cox.net


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